Brittni (00:02.018)
Hello and welcome back to the Resting in Motherhood podcast. How are you today? How was your night last night? How is your day going? What has been the best part of your day so far? And if you are subscribed to my newsletter, I actually sent a newsletter on that specific topic maybe well when you’re listening to this, maybe like a month and a half ago about how I was having a really, really hard day.

And I was like negative. I had this mindset that like Lila is so hard. Everything’s so hard. You know, the pity parties that we get in and we, I was making my life easier. We went to Chick -fil -A for lunch and we’re in the drive -through line and this young guy with a huge smile on his face, we pull up to him and he’s like, what’s been the best part of your day? And it like stopped me in my tracks because I was in such a negative.

I was in such a funk and it stopped me and I was like, what has been the best part of our day, right? Like let me find this glimmering moment in a day that feels so dark. And then we drove away from him and I started crying because I realized it’s so easy and I am so guilty of this. It’s so easy to get stuck in this place where we’re focusing on everything that’s going wrong.

We’re focusing on how hard everything is. We’re focusing on maybe how we’re doing it all wrong. We’re focusing on the hard parts of our child, right? And we lose sight of all of the beautiful things that are happening. Now, I feel like I say this all the time. I am not discrediting how hard it is and I don’t want to use toxic positivity.

But I also think that it’s really important for us to be mindful of the thoughts that we’re having and the thought patterns that are coming up and remind ourselves, is this really the truth or am I letting this hard thing, which is a valid experience and a valid feeling, kind of overshadow everything? Like two things can coexist at the same time, right? Like you could have a really bad morning or a really bad night and yet there can still be beautiful parts of the day.

Brittni (02:23.872)
you could have yelled at your little one an hour ago, and you can decide right now to change the vibe of the day, to change the trajectory of how your day is going instead of sitting in that moment from an hour ago. And this is a learning lesson every single day for me, but I wanted to kind of share that nugget with you. And as my beautiful, amazing, wonderful daughter told me yesterday, as soon as she woke

today is a new day. Literally the first thing she said, she woke up, she said, hi mommy, today is a new day. And it just was so beautiful, right? And such a good reminder that it is a new day, even if you’re listening in the evening, you can start a new path forward right now. So if it’s been a rough day, if it’s been a rough week, if it’s been a rough month,

I want you to, whether you journal it out or think about it or say it out loud to me right now, what has been the best part of your day? Or if it’s been a rough week, what has been the best part of your week? Or if it’s been a rough month or a rough six months or whatever the case may be, what has been the best part of your last month or your last six months? And take some time to reflect on the good things that are happening because

Like I said, I think we can all get guilty of focusing on the negative. And this actually ties in kind of to how I’m currently finding rest in motherhood, which is, and I’ve said this one before, but I’ll give you the backstory once I get into it. I am making an effort to wake up before Lila every single morning again. For a long time, I was just sleeping in until she would wake up. And then I started realizing

Her bedtime was just shifting later because she’s getting older. And so I needed some time for myself on both sides, right? So I needed time for myself after bedtime because I was getting less and I needed time before she woke up in the morning to just kind of decompress and start my morning quietly. But with summer, I’ve found, especially like over the last three weeks or so, because we’ve been up at the cabin a lot and

Brittni (04:47.704)
It’s just hard to have an early bedtime up there because we’re go, go, go. We’re outside. We’re doing movies in the evening, just like cozy in the cabin. And so we’ve been going to bed a lot later, which has meant that I could either go to bed with Lila, which I’m usually not opting to do. So then I’m staying up until 11 or 12 o ‘clock. And if you know, or midnight, I should say. And if you know me, that is not who I am. Like I am

I want the lights out by 10 .30 at the latest. So I’ve been going to bed later since she’s been going to bed later. And then we’ve been waking up at like 8 .30, nine o ‘clock every morning, which in my mind, was like, sleeping in feels good. But back to that patterns thing that I talked about, like pay attention to thought patterns that are coming up, behavior patterns that are coming up. I started noticing and my wonderful business coach actually pointed it out to me too.

I was starting to kind of fall back into patterns that weren’t serving me. I had let go of like my morning journaling. I had let go of like some morning stillness and meditation. I had let go of like getting some stretching in in the morning and all of those things really helped me. And so I was starting to fall back into like thought patterns that didn’t serve me. All of these things, right? It’s kind of like this domino effect.

how I am currently finding rest in motherhood again, although it is very, very hard. Like I’m having to press snooze like 10 times before I get up, which surprisingly does not wake up my child who’s sleeping next to me. But that’s how I’m finding rest right now is I’m getting back into the habit of waking up earlier so that I can do these activities that do help me find rest in motherhood.

read a, in the morning I don’t usually read like my fun books that like I read at night. I usually read something that’s more along the lines of like a, I don’t want to say self -help book, but something that’s teaching me, right? Something that I’m really learning from and then journaling. Sometimes it’s moving. Sometimes it

Brittni (07:00.984)
prioritizing just like getting some quiet time for myself. And sometimes that is like reading my book in the morning, like my fun book in the morning before she wakes up. If you are a reader, I’m currently reading Magnolia Parks. I’m on the third book, but it’s a little bit gossip girl -esque in London. Very like toxic relationship, but it’s a really fun read if you’re looking for something fun to read with like lots of fashion in it. It’s fun.

And that’s a total aside, but I always want to share what’s going on in my life with you too. So today I’m totally switching gears. Today we will be talking all about sleep progressions in the first year and kind of what to expect. First I want to talk about like what a sleep progression is and what it isn’t. And I also want to say that

I find that there’s a narrative in the sleep training industry that makes you feel like sleep progressions are these like make or break moments where if you don’t do something, quote the right way. I know like a really common one for the four month progression is they’ll say like, if your baby doesn’t learn how to fall asleep independently during the four months sleep progression, they’re never going to sleep through the night. Well, that’s a huge lie. I’ve seen it with.

All of my clients, right? I’ve seen it with my own child who was supported to sleep until she was over three years old, who now sleeps through the night and was sleeping through the night when she was still supported to sleep. So that’s a big lie, a big giant lie. And so no, sleep progressions are not these make or break moments where if you don’t teach a skill, which by the way, we know sleep is not a skill in the first place, it’s a biological function.

that cannot be taught. But it’s like you don’t need to teach a skill, you don’t need to follow these rules, your baby doesn’t need to be doing something by the end of the progression for them to sleep through the night. That’s all BS, meant to scare you, meant to make you feel like you have to sleep train and you don’t. So what is a sleep progression? And by the

Brittni (09:22.794)
If you’re like listening to this and you’re like, you’re saying it wrong. It’s a regression, not a progression. I say progression because, and this also kind of goes back to the sleep training industry. The sleep training industry spends sleep progressions in a negative way, calling them regressions, making you feel like your child is going back. I see a progression, and this is why I call it a progression, as a time in your child’s life where all of their development and growth

is propelling them forward, which is then impacting their sleep. They’re not regressing, they are growing and developing and getting bigger and stronger and smarter. And all of that is coming together to impact sleep. And so that leads me into my next part of what I wanna say, which is sleep progressions are not like this one singular event. It’s multiple events happening in a child’s life.

that come together to kind of create this perfect storm for really hard sleep. So yes, I’m going to talk about in this episode, the four month progression, the six month progression, and the eight to 10 month progression. And we’ll talk about the 12 month progression too. But that doesn’t mean that they’re going to happen at that specific age for your child, right? So like the four month progression might happen around the three month progression, or might happen around

the three month mark for your little one, or it might happen around the five month mark for your little one. The six month progression might happen around the five month mark or the seven month mark or the six month mark, right? It’s not going to happen at a specific age. Like, it’s their four month quote unquote birthday. They’re gonna start the progression tonight, right? That’s not how it works. It’s all about like where your baby’s at developmentally and what’s going on with

but I wanted to break down these sleep progressions so that you know what to expect and you can work through them. And I will also say that I have just released a new freebie. Currently I have a four month sleep progression freebie and a toddler sleep progression freebie. What I’m going to have now, which I have released and you can download today is zero to 12 months sleep progression freebie and then my 12 to 24 months sleep progression freebie.

Brittni (11:45.744)
I am, instead of just having the four month, you’re getting access to all of the information on all of the progressions in the first year. I will go through a lot of the information in today’s episode, but I highly recommend just downloading the freebie. That way you have it to look back on as you go through future progressions and you have it in paper form, right? So can just look through it. So what’s happening around the four month

Your baby was born with kind of this protective sensory barrier, which is why we often hear it referred to as the fourth trimester, because they’re out of utero now once they’re born, but they’re still kind of in this little external womb, which is us, right? Like our body, our arms, being around us, sleeping within sensory range of us, all of that is kind of this external womb.

which is why that skin to skin and keeping your baby close is so, important in those first four months and past that, right? There’s not an age where responding to your child’s need and keeping them close as needed is bad. But those first four months, they’re really kind of in this little protective external womb. So their senses are dampened, meaning that they’re not as aware to the outside world. They’re pretty much only concerned with you.

and if they have another primary caregiver, the other primary caregiver. It’s why they’re not really kind of like making eye contact in the first few months, right? All of those things. And yes, they’ll look in our eyes, but it’s, you know, as the smiles start to develop, that’s when they’re kind of really starting to come out of that, we’ll say shell. And so that sensory barrier is coming down. So that’s one thing that’s happening around the four month mark is they are really awakening to the outside world.

Another thing that’s happening is they are probably starting to roll or getting ready to roll. are, there’s a permanent change in sleep cycles around this age. So a non -rim light sleep cycle is added in, which means it’s a lighter sleep stage. So they’re easy. They’re going to wake more easily. So if you think about that, that comes together already to provide kind of this perfect storm for

Brittni (14:09.516)
bad sleep, and I don’t even want to call it bad, but disrupted sleep. So they’re more aware. They are going to be more aware when you transfer them down because they’re more aware of their surroundings. Their sleep needs are changing and decreasing. Every day a child’s sleep needs, mean, minuscule if we looked at it every day, every day that your child grows, their sleep needs are decreasing until it evens out in toddlerhood for a while. But as you can see, you’re four month old.

is going through a lot right now. And so you’re often going to see, and this, I will say this is for all sleep progressions really, you’re going to see probably fighting naps, having a harder time getting down, getting them down, maybe shorter naps, a harder bedtime, maybe they’re waking more frequently at night. It’s really common around this age.

for little ones to kind of sleep through the night from like the two to three month mark. And then all of a sudden at the four month mark, they’re starting to wake up every two to three hours or maybe hourly. So disrupted sleep is really normal around this age. Now you know why, and then what can you do? So one of the biggest things that you can do, and this one seems simple and it is, is keep your baby close, respond to them as needed. they were,

Previously going down for content or independent naps and now you can’t get them off of you Lean into that need for for contact naps. Maybe you try one nap a day trying to transfer them down Keep that consistency But then if they wake as soon as transferred if you’re able to then just hold them do a contact nap if you’re needing further help with like you can’t do the contact nap because of work or whatever is going on or you

just ready to kind of start getting some independent naps, but you’re needing some support. You can check out my independent naps workshop or we can work one -on -one together. But again, lean into that need for connection. Give your little one lots of uninterrupted time on the floor, or it doesn’t have to be the floor. Like you could be laying in bed with them and let them kind of try to practice rolling, do some tummy time.

Brittni (16:24.064)
It’s summer here, at least in the Northern hemisphere, which I know it’s getting really hot right now, at least here in Colorado. But maybe it means going out in the earlier morning or the later evening and doing some tummy time on a blanket outside. The more they can move their body freely and they’re not in like swings or bumbos or they’re too young at four months for like a bouncer bouncer. But I guess like the reclined bouncers.

The more you can keep them out of something like that so that they can move their body and integrate their reflexes and practice their new skills, the better. And then just choose a sleep setup at night that’s going to work for you. So if you’re not comfortable bed sharing, you don’t have to bed share, but if they’re in another room and you’re getting up six plus times a night to walk in there, get them back to sleep, transfer them in.

walk back to your room, get back into your bed, try to fall back asleep, and then they’re waking up again, you are losing valuable sleep. So if you cannot, if you don’t want to safely, or if you can’t, or you don’t want to bed share, consider room sharing. So that could be bassinet right next to your bed, that could be crib in your room right next to your bed, it could be just having them in your room. Consider a sleep setup and find a sleep setup that’s going to maximize your sleep.

And with all of these sleep progressions that we’re going to talk about, I also want to remind you to remember this is the key. Remember that this is not forever. You’re not screwing up. There’s nothing wrong with them. They are just going through a lot of developmental change, which is impacting their sleep. And just continue to keep your routines, continue to follow their own unique sleepy cues and their own unique wake windows.

Try to take care of yourself as much as you can. And like I said, that really applies to all of the sleep progressions. So that’s the four month sleep progression. I also in the sleep progression freebie that you can download, I also have information on weaning the swaddle if you do have your little one in a swaddle. The next progression we’ll talk about is the six month progression. The six month progression is usually caused by

Brittni (18:42.776)
either starting to get up onto all fours, starting to army crawl, maybe they are an early crawler, so starting to crawl. They’re usually starting solids around this age. They’re starting to babble more. They’re kind of starting to get FOMO. They’re usually going through a nap transition around this age. Like they’re kind of starting to transition to that three nap day. If you have a six month old who’s still on four naps, it’s okay. doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

I’m just giving some generalizations here. So all of those things again come together to create some disrupted sleep. So what can you do? Again, give them lots of time on the floor to move their body freely or on the ground outside. Get lots of healthy sensory play in. So being outside, maybe it’s some water play, maybe it’s some fun sensory toys. Pay attention to their sleep needs.

Are they fighting naps and is that a sign that maybe they are ready to transition to three naps instead of four naps? Continue to keep them close. Keep your routines. Again, I have more information within that sleep progression freebie, but those are the big things around the six month mark. But the biggest thing that I want to talk about around the six month mark is the starting solids piece. It is normal for sleep to be a bit disrupted.

when they start solids just because it’s something new in their digestive tract. It’s something new that their body is having to really learn how to do, right? Digest, I mean, it knows how to do it. It’s a biological function, but it’s new to them. Also, it’s new to them in a sensory way, just getting all of those new textures and all of that. So it can be normal, but if you start noticing

all of a sudden after starting solids, your little one is arching their back at night and they didn’t do that before. If you notice that they’re starting to get like rashes on their skin or there’s a change in their stools like mucus in the stools or blood in the stool or maybe they’re constipated and they’re not having bowel movements every day. If they’re waking hourly and you can tell that it’s a discomfort wake, right? Like it’s not a quick wake, snuggle or nurse or feedback to sleep. It’s like a

Brittni (21:08.072)
I am very uncomfortable crying, arching my back, maybe even after like the upset, then they’re having a bowel movement or they’re gassy. Those are signs that we need to be looking into what they’re eating that’s causing this discomfort. And maybe it means that there is a food sensitivity that we need to be looking into. Free to feed is an amazing resource and I’ll link it below that has

amazing resources on food sensitivities. Also, if you have a little one that’s dealing with reflux and reflux gets worse with solids, that’s another sign that we need to be looking into what are they eating that’s causing this discomfort. The baby reflux lady, I’ll also link her website below. She has amazing resources as well on reflux. I highly recommend looking at her website.

Another thing that I forgot to mention around the six month mark is teething. Oftentimes we start getting teeth around the six month mark. Some little ones will be before six months and some little ones will be after six months. But with teething, what you can do is you want to first lean into the fact that like they’re uncomfortable and understand that anything in the mouth when it’s uncomfortable and we’re laying down, it’s multiplied the discomfort is.

So you could, with a clean finger, of gently massage the area where the tooth is coming in. You could do frozen breast milk popsicles or frozen formula popsicles. You could do like frozen, like those cute little like chewers that you can put fruit in. Like you could freeze them a little bit so they have something cold to chew on. Clean teathers. I also really love the earthly, it’s called teeth tamer. It’s like a teething tincture that you put in their mouth.

All of those things are great and just remember again that it’s not going to last forever. After the six month progression, and yes, it’s like we get four months and then it’s like four months, six months, eight to 10 months. It’s kind of back to back, which feels really hard, but I just want to assure you that it’s not going to be forever. It’s not going to, you’re not doing anything wrong, right?

Brittni (23:28.44)
The other thing that I forgot to mention is sleep progressions usually last I would say four to six weeks, but in the first year of life usually it’s probably closer to the three to four month mark and then around the eight to ten month mark this is in my opinion the roughest period of sleep in the first year of life because We are really our baby and you can see it,

our baby is starting to prepare to enter toddlerhood at the one year mark. So they’re really developing, they’re gaining a lot of strength. They’re also gaining or not gaining, but they’re learning about object permanence. So the fact that something still exists even when you can’t see it. And if you’d like to test this with your baby, all you have to do is like play with them on the floor, be playing with a block.

and then put the block underneath the blanket. And if they lift the blanket or whatever you cover the block with, that is a sign that they know, even though I can’t see that, I know it’s there. And that object permanence links into separation anxiety. So there’s usually a peak in separation anxiety around the nine month mark. Other things is they’re, like I said, they’re getting more mobile. If they haven’t started crawling, they’re going to start crawling soon.

They may even be pulling up to standing. I’ve worked with some early walkers who start walking around nine months. So all of those developmental gross motor skills are going on. They’re probably eating more solids. Sometimes we start leaving the house more around the eight to 10 month mark because we’re starting to feel more confident and comfortable leaving the house with them. They also may be transitioning from three to two naps.

Sleeve needs are decreasing. So as you can see, there’s a lot going on at this age too. What can you do? Similar to the previous months, provide comfort when they’re teething, tune into them at night to make sure that they are not uncomfortable, like there’s not signs of discomfort like the arching of the back or extreme restlessness or just really upset during wakings.

Brittni (25:47.21)
One thing I’ll mention here is that babies can have nightmares, but you would discern a nightmare from like a discomfort waking because a nightmare would kind of be a one -off occasion. Discomfort is going to be something that shows up again and again and again. Also, you want to continue to provide them lots of time to practice their new skills and move their bodies freely. Try not to pack your day with too many like mommy and me classes or activities.

to allow them to have time at home to just really practice new skills and master them. Another thing at this age that you can do.

Brittni (26:31.638)
Another thing that you can do at this age to work with the separation anxiety piece is first continue to show them that you are there, that you will be there for them. If you are leaving them, I don’t recommend sneaking out. I actually recommend telling them goodbye, saying something like, can’t wait to see you in a little while. I can’t wait to read a book with you or snuggle you. Even though they’re not fully comprehending it, it’s important to say goodbye.

You can play peek -a -boo with them. You can even, like, if they’re sleeping in a crib, put them in their crib and then step out of the room and then, like, jump back in to make it a game. So just showing them that even when they don’t see you, you do come back. The last sleep progression we’ll talk about for the first year, and that’s all we’re covering today, is the 12 -month sleep progression. The 12 -month sleep progression is really rough as well.

And I actually just remembered before I jump into the 12 month sleep progression, one really common thing that happens in that eight to 10 month progression is early rising. That is a really common time for babies to like wake up at like four in the morning and not go back to sleep. So if you didn’t have an early riser and now your little one is between that eight to 10 month mark and they’re early rising, I generally see that happening because they’re working on a new skill and they’re just.

their brain is so excited that they wanna wake up and practice. And that’s also something that can be really common throughout all of the sleep progressions is like a long wake up in the middle of the night. So like they’re waking up from let’s say like one to three a and they’re like giggling and laughing and they wanna practice their new skills. And if that happens, let them practice their new skill. Maybe it means laying in bed with them if you feel safe with that.

and letting them play around with you while you kind of lay there and get some rest. Maybe it means laying on their nursery floor and letting them play and explore and babble while you kind of lay down until they’re tired again. Maybe it means laying on your living room floor, right? What we don’t want to happen is those nights to become the norm. Like if you’re having split nights, which is being awake for a long period of time in the middle of the night, four plus times a week,

Brittni (28:48.056)
and it’s gone on for over four weeks, that is probably not progression. That is probably like a sleep imbalance issue where we need to be looking at daytime sleep and bedtime, also looking into red flags. So I forgot to mention that about the eight to 10 month is that early rising. The 12 month mark is also, it’s a beautiful, fun age, but there’s so much going on. Your little one is entering toddlerhood.

They are really starting to babble. There’s a language burst at this age, so you’re going to start hearing more words come out. A lot of children have their 12 -month molars coming around this age. A lot of little ones are starting to walk. If they’re not starting to walk, they’re probably starting to pull up to standing. There’s also a peak in separation anxiety around the 12 -month mark. So if you’re noticing a trend, development and separation anxiety and teething are really big.

components of sleep progressions. Also at the 12 month mark, sleep needs are decreasing a little bit. Most little ones don’t transition to one nap until closer to 13 to 18 months, but it is possible that your little one is transitioning or it is possible that your little one might be transitioning to one nap. It’s just unique to each child. So what can you do at this age? Instead of trying to

bait words out of them, like how do you say this or what’s this? Just have regular normal conversations with them because that’s actually giving them more language. And when we test them, a lot of times they don’t like that. They don’t like feeling coerced into doing something. Whereas if it’s natural, it’s giving them more of an opportunity to practice new words. Again, provide comfort with teething. If you have a breastfed little one,

and they are working on those 12 month molars, it’s really common to feel like they’re latched on all night long and that’s because sucking is a natural pain reliever. So they might truly be latched on all night long because those molars are causing a lot of discomfort. Again, lead into their need for connection, especially with walking, separation anxiety skyrockets because as they gain that independence,

Brittni (31:06.188)
They wanna make sure that you’re still there, that you’re still their safe space, and that you’re going to continue to be there for them as they continue to grow in independence. Again, lots of time to practice new skills. I can’t remember if I already said that. But if you’re seeing a trend here, it’s ultimately that. It’s all of these special things that are going on within a child’s life that are going to impact sleep. Remember.

When you have a really hard night, I want you to wake up that next morning or when you wake up and say, I’m going to pay attention to see what new thing I notice about them. Maybe it’s tiny. Maybe it’s they’re starting to look at their hand and move it around. Maybe it’s a new word for an older child. Maybe it’s waving at people. Maybe it’s clapping. Maybe it’s playing with a toy in a new way. Right. Well, be on the lookout for those, because when you see those,

you can say, that is why sleep was hard last night. Their little brain was so excited working on this new skill that they didn’t want to sleep. They had a hard time sleeping. Or if you can spot a tooth, gosh, they’re really uncomfortable. I don’t sleep good when I’m uncomfortable either, right? So changing this narrative of like they’re regressing, their sleep is getting worse to what’s going on in their life that’s so big and exciting that’s impacting their sleep. Easier said than done, I know.

And also during this time, I really want to encourage you to prioritize taking time for yourself whenever and however you can. And also prioritize like outsourcing whatever you need to outsource to fill your own cup as well. So maybe that’s getting a meal delivered. Maybe that’s asking your partner to do a load of laundry, right? Or if somebody comes over and offers to help.

Don’t be afraid to actually ask for the help. So I hope this was helpful. I hope what it really did is take the fear out of sleep progressions to help you realize that you’re not doing anything wrong. Hopefully you even had like an aha moment of, my gosh, that’s totally what’s going on right now. I highly recommend downloading the new sleep progressions freebie, which will be linked in the show notes. And if you’re needing more support, if you’re like,

Brittni (33:29.642)
Okay, we are not in a progression, but we’re dealing with regular split nights, or we are dealing with false starts for the past two months, or my baby’s been waking hourly their whole life, or for the last two plus months. I would even say for hourly waking, if they’re going past a month of hourly waking, that’s not a progression, something else is going on that we need to look into. So, differentiate between progression and…

a pattern that is consistently there that is not sustainable. So like I said, those split nights that are happening, that are a norm in your home, hourly waking is a norm, baby fighting nap all the time or bedtime, early rising is the norm. When any of those things become the norm, and I would say generally that means like longer than a month, something’s going on and that’s not a progression, something’s going on that we need to dig deeper.

So if you are in that camp, if you are on team struggle bus every single day of the week and not just kind of in a temporary period, we need to look at that. So I highly recommend booking a discovery call with me and chatting about how I can best support you. Or if you’re more of a DIY mama, I have my zero to 12 months sleep course, which covers all of the big sleep struggles and little sleep struggles

getting your baby to nap off of you or sleep off of your chest. And then again, early risings, split nights, false starts, hourly waking, all of those big things, fighting sleep. I cover all of that in the course as well. Plus give you so much more education so that you can confidently navigate that first year of sleep with more sleep and in alignment with your parenting values. I am wishing you a beautiful day and I’m sending sleepy vibes your way.

I hope you have a wonderful day.