Brittni (00:01.367)

Welcome back to the Resting in Motherhood podcast. I’m so excited to have you here today to learn from the amazing Tori Sprinkle, who is a personal brand and design expert. She is also the, what am I trying to say, creative mastermind behind my beautiful brand that I love so much. So hello, Tori. Welcome. Thank you for being here. If you could just give us a quick introduction.

Tori (00:19.918)

I’m going to go to bed.

well, that was so nice. Yes, I am in personal branding, the design side of things as well as kind of developing the person and the brand. It’s not always like about the logos, but I also kind of strive to be this voice for moms who are trying to be both like CEO and moms and do all the things and.

Brittni (00:31.831)

Hehehehe

Tori (00:56.142)

live up to our own expectations in both of those arenas, even though it seems like impossible most days. So just trying to honor ourselves and be ourselves first, because we were that first before moms. But also, of course, like the motherhood side is a huge part of who we are now. So how do we combine both of these things and step out as business owners or moms or women or whatever we have going on outside of this like

chaos of forts in our living room and chicken nuggets at dinner time and all of that stuff. So yeah, but that is basically what my brain is like constantly thinking of is how to, especially being like a mom of two girls, I’m always like, how can I better this world for women, especially the next generation since I am raising two future women and possibly business owners and possibly moms. So how can I like,

better this landscape for them going forward too.

Brittni (01:59.255)

I love that. And you’re such an inspiration. So here’s a fun fact about Tori and I. Tori did my branding and then I had the amazing pleasure of meeting Tori in real life outside of the screen in May. And now I consider Tori like one of my real life BFFs who we will be hopefully seeing each other again in January. But one thing that I just like loved when we met in real life Tori is

I see you on Instagram. I see you talking all about the like running a business and being a mom. And one of like my favorite things that you use is like the soft pretzel life, like this ooey gooey life. And what I loved is like, I met you in real life and you’re really living that, right? Like I think sometimes on Instagram, we can see people talking about it, but you’re truly embodying it. And that’s what it like, I had this idea while we were there of like, I have to have Tori on.

the podcast because you are so good at romanticizing life on Instagram, but you’re doing it in real life too, which I think so many of us are not doing, right? Like maybe we’re taking the cute pictures, but then behind the scenes we’re like, feel like we’re, and I’m sure you still feel this way, but we feel like we’re burning the candle at both ends and like we can’t do it all and you are doing it all.

Tori (05:22.862)

Yeah, the soft pretzel life is really catching on. Apparently the Target dollar spot now has a plushie like soft pretzel and I’m getting like DMs daily like thought of you. You have to go get this at the Target dollar spot. So yeah, it’s it’s almost I don’t even know what to call it like a theory or a practice probably a practice but this practice that I’m doing myself and you know, just taking everyone along for the ride and if

Brittni (05:36.631)

Hehehe

Tori (05:52.206)

People want to try it themselves. That’s great, too. But it’s really all about I was on someone else’s podcast is how this started and they were like how do you want to like create like spaciousness in your life when you have like mom life and CEO life and It just came to me in that one moment and I was like, I don’t know I just want it to like all tastes like the soft pretzel where it’s all like Twisty and I can take a bite from any anywhere. I take a bite. It’s gonna be delicious and salty and the perfect texture

Brittni (06:13.719)

Yeah.

Tori (06:21.358)

And it might be business at one point, it might be motherhood at one point, but it’s all twisting together versus it being these like really hard breaks. Like when you go to a corporate job, it’s like I work nine to five, I drop my kid at daycare, there’s a hard break when I walk in the door and walk out the door versus here, that’s not life. Like literally where I am right now is my desk, which also doubles as our playroom. And so that is just like tangibly a soft pretzel moment because

Brittni (06:29.239)

Hehehe

Tori (06:50.638)

My kids will be doing homeschool stuff or playing up here while I’m working. And so I’m able to like twist life together, but I’m also able to hop out at any moment. Like when we’re done, I’m going to go to the library and do some time with the kids then. And it’s not like I have to separate everything. Like I want everything to feel like it works together and works for one another. You know, I’m in the motherhood business, even though I’m in the brand and web business.

Brittni (07:19.319)

Totally.

Tori (07:20.334)

And so I want to be able to just, not only for myself, to prove that I can do both, because I am an Enneagram 3 and a Leo, so I’m very hard headed, but I want to say that I can do both, and I want to show other people that it’s also possible if that feels like a limiting belief to them too.

Brittni (07:41.719)

And I just cannot stress this enough because I feel like we hear people say this, but like you are really doing that. And I think that’s what’s so powerful is like, we kind of get sold this idea talking about a limiting belief is like, we can’t have it all in motherhood. And it’s so funny, maybe because I knew we were gonna have this talk, but I’m sitting here writing my newsletter before I jumped in to talk to you. And I talked about how I think it’s BS that we’re told that we can’t have it all in motherhood.

Now having it all is going to look different for each and every single one of us, right? But I wanna kind of dive into your story because you were in corporate design, right? And kind of can, and now I’m gonna like spoiler alert everyone now, Tory is the, what am I trying to say? The breadwinner in your family, right? And John is, John’s stay at home dad role right now.

Tori (08:34.766)

Correct, we fluffed his title to be CEO of Life, but yes, he does help me. We met in design school, so there is a benefit to him being at home, but we recently decided to homeschool and thank God for him because I totally am fine with the term breadwinner and he is too, but yeah, I have to like.

Brittni (08:39.031)

I love that.

Tori (09:02.094)

choose moments to work versus saying, now I’m going to be a stay at home mom that does homeschooling. And he’s luckily stepping into that role in the more excited than I am. Like he is pulling out his Eagle Scout badge and waving it because he is like ready to teach the kids everything. But it’s great. It just works for us. And, you know, there’s there’s learning curves to having that.

Brittni (09:08.791)

Totally.

Brittni (09:19.543)

He he.

Tori (09:31.95)

stereotypical role reversed in genders. But I think if the main thing here is that like having him be open to it and excited about it makes it a lot easier for me to step into my role, which I do love to work even in corporate America. I love to work that I didn’t love being away from my kids. And so this is the perfect balance for me. But yeah, it’s it is great.

Brittni (09:44.507)

Hehehe

Tori (10:01.966)

but also challenging. Like I think we’ve said a lot of nice things about how I can romanticize life and soft pretzels sounds delicious and gooey and amazing, but there are also, you know, tons of learning curves and challenges and it took a long time to get here. So yeah, go ahead.

Brittni (10:22.679)

Totally.

No, yeah, and I think that when you helped me with this when we were together in May about like kind of shifting this narrative, I think that I had kind of gotten into my head of like, I need a man to come in and kind of support me when I’ve been running a business. I’ve been a solo mom for almost three years now. And you don’t know how transformative that was for me. Like it’s opened so much up for me, but.

I think that again, talking about those limiting beliefs, it goes back to the fact that like, you can make a lot of money, you can be a good mom, you can run your own business and it doesn’t need, like, I think that we have these limiting beliefs in society, like, I’m a woman, I need, like, we put ourselves in these boxes and I love that you’re like tearing open that box or like ripping it up while also showing like,

I can have it all, I am doing it.

Tori (11:21.806)

Yeah, and I don’t know if it comes from, like, my parents were divorced when I was little and my mom was, and still is, like, very career driven and I kind of followed in that way. But I also have a stepmom who is a stay at home mom. And so I kind of grew up with the best of both, seeing the best of both worlds or or totally different ends of the spectrum, rather. But in those cases, it felt like

Brittni (11:44.311)

Totally.

Tori (11:52.11)

I had to choose one or the other, right? And I feel like as moms, we kind of feel like we have to do that, especially if you are in corporate America, they make you feel like it just doesn’t feel good to be a new mom in corporate America a lot of times. I’m really hoping the landscape is changing with a lot of like female CEOs taking over and women owned businesses. But I just remember being like disgusted having to pump in this bathroom that

other men went to the bathroom in, in my, when I had Rowan my first time, my first child, sorry, I just got a fumble there. But when I had Rowan and I was like trying to pump going back to work, it was like so gross, like being put in a bathroom. And so it just was like, why isn’t this easier for moms to go back to work? Or why isn’t this,

made it was more of a hindrance. I felt like a burden, you know, and so I just, anyway, it, it’s like, so many things are changing. And I’ve talked about this a little bit, like on my Instagram, that I see my job and my purpose is to help these women who are running businesses like you, who are completely

Brittni (12:51.447)

Totally.

Tori (13:14.03)

You talk about tearing boxes down, like completely changing landscapes in all different forms of our lives. Like whether that’s like how we sleep with our child, how we feed our child, how we work, how, like there’s so many stereotypes and traditional ways that we have been just living, not even working as women, that we are now finally feeling like we have a voice to like say we want to do it differently. And so.

Brittni (13:38.871)

Totally.

Tori (13:41.998)

You know, so it feels really powerful to be surrounded by people like you who make my job really easy.

Brittni (13:49.111)

I love that. Well, and I, isn’t it so funny? Because I’m like, and it feels so powerful to be surrounded by women like you. But I’m glad you brought up the sleeping part, because I also you guys are a co -sleeping family, right? Or has she gone to her own bed now?

Tori (13:54.702)

haha

Tori (14:03.246)

No, and she, I’m okay with it. I feel like I felt pressure when she was two, she was about before. So I feel like I felt pressure when she was two, just like that’s the next step, like let’s just do it. And she has been resistant every step of the way. And it, I don’t care. I personally don’t care. I love the snuggles. John loves the snuggles.

John likes to also joke that he became a stay at home dad and left his job so that we could have mommy daddy time during the day when they were at like grandma’s because we don’t get it at night. And so that is funny, but we’re on the same page with the co -sleeping and that made it that much easier too. But surprisingly, like even yesterday we were talking to my parents because we want to take like an anniversary vacation.

Brittni (14:40.375)

Ha!

Tori (14:58.67)

and we asked them if they could watch them. And the first thing out of their mouth was, yeah, but we got to get Hazy in her own bed. And I was like, I was like joking about my response to it, but I’m just like, why can she not just sleep in your bed for a week? Like, can we just not let her do what she wants to do? Because I know now I’m going to have stress and anxiety on my vacation wondering how…

Brittni (15:06.039)

gosh.

Tori (15:26.574)

put out my parents are feeling that my kid is in their bed for a week. And I don’t want to feel that way. And so now I’m going to like be preparing myself for months to just let that go and whatever happens happens and everyone will survive and everyone will fall asleep somewhere. But it’s just stuff like that that you still have to work through. And I know you hear those stories every day, but it’s interesting to actually be one of the families that

Brittni (15:30.935)

Totally.

Tori (15:56.142)

you specifically work with. You know, I’m a prime example of co -sleeping at four. But yeah.

Brittni (15:58.935)

Yeah, yeah.

Brittni (16:05.591)

Yeah, well here I am at almost five, but I’m like, send them to me. We can just have a big bed with Lila and both girls and we can all hang out. But that, I’m glad you brought that up because the feeling of guilt. Now I’m gonna actually change that a little bit, but how do you deal with, or do you deal with, mom guilt at all as being, and I know it’s probably going to change now because,

Tori (16:14.446)

Yes. my gosh, that would be amazing.

Brittni (16:35.383)

They were in school and now you’re homeschooling. So you’re probably getting more time with them. But how do you deal with any mom guilt that comes up?

Tori (16:43.054)

Yeah, we’re moving, it’s still kind of hybrid. So two days a week, they go to my mother -in -law and that’s kind of, we consider that kind of their weekend where John and I like either go for longer workouts, cause kids aren’t allowed at our gym or, you know, I take calls on a whole day when they’re not here. So I don’t have to worry about being frustrated about noise.

Brittni (16:47.159)

Okay.

Tori (17:08.046)

And so it’s kind of a hybrid situation. So the mom guilt about them being at school has lessened. But yes, I deal with mom guilt because as you know me, I will say yes to a girl’s trip at without asking my spouse at all. So I love to travel and I love, you know, just going to see different friends. None of my friends I feel like are basically in the same state. So it’s always a road trip or something. And I…

Brittni (17:21.239)

Yeah.

Tori (17:36.366)

constantly feel guilt. John has his hunting season in like November, December. And so I have my like, I call it my hunting season is like April and May. And that is when I it’s like every weekend, I feel like I’m gone. It’s weeks on end. But we just kind of like compromise and have those times of the year where we do what we want to do. And this past spring, I felt like

It was more about the mom guilt. And this is what I teach in my like group program too. You have to like figure out if the mom guilt is an expectation that you’re putting on yourself or if it’s assumptions of expectations of other people. And so a lot of my mom guilt comes from assuming what other people are saying about my choices behind my back. And it’s usually family and it’s, it comes from comments made in the past. So it’s not like just out of thin air. It’s

popping into my brain, which my brain is sometimes mean and like makes up things. But a lot of times I’m like, what are they saying about me like never being home this month? Or, you know, like, it just feels like a lot of times I’m just putting those assumptions out there and letting them get to me. So yeah, they totally get to me and I don’t have like a magic, you know, thing to do if that pops up except for

Brittni (18:44.183)

Totally.

Tori (19:02.99)

maybe noticing and kind of like realizing where that’s coming from and maybe then trying to like alter your thoughts around that. So like I know it’s really silly that no one is probably saying anything about what I’m doing or my choices when I’m in those moments. And if they are, it’s more about them than it is about me. It’s like jealousy that they didn’t do that or jealous that they can’t make that choice.

Brittni (19:28.599)

Totally.

Tori (19:32.558)

And so I think it’s just recognizing what’s behind those thoughts, what’s behind the guilt when that happens is probably the only thing we can really work towards in moving past that in the future.

Brittni (19:49.111)

But that’s so powerful and it’s so funny because here I am thinking like when you were in your hunting season, I was like following along on your Instagram and I never thought like, my gosh, she’s not with her kids. I thought, my gosh, how amazing for her that she’s out there enjoying her life. And I also know that you’re a really, really good mom, right? Like, and to me it was inspiring. Like I need to go do more trips. I need to go do things for myself because I’m sure you can share this too.

When we take that time for ourselves, then we’re better able to show up when we are at home.

Tori (20:23.598)

my gosh, yes. I mean, I remember you saying, right, when we went to see each other, wasn’t that the first time you left?

Brittni (20:28.055)

Yeah.

First time away from Laila. Yeah. Yeah.

Tori (20:33.102)

That was huge, Brittany. Like, and so, I mean, just to ask a question back at you, like, how did you feel when you left our retreat? Did you feel rejuvenated? Did you feel inspired? Like, or?

Brittni (20:46.711)

everything, all of the above, no guilt, right? I was like, my gosh, let’s do this every weekend. No, I’m kidding. But I’m kind of kidding. Yeah. But truly, and I think that this is where we talk about deconstructing or tearing those boxes open, especially I think in my…

Tori (20:48.75)

Hahaha!

Tori (20:53.07)

I know, I know. We were planning, like, we were looking at land for compounds and stuff.

you

Brittni (21:12.663)

my viewership or my community where we are parenting from like an attachment perspective, we are parenting in like this very crunchy granola way. I feel like we can feel like I’m not a good mom if I’m not with my kids 24 seven and I’m not a good mom if I’m like out, I don’t know doing what is bringing me joy, right? And I think that that weekend away for me was just like so empowering because it was like a

everyone was okay. Just like you talk about the guilt with like your parents or with your dad. I like, I find that when I first got that invite from you guys, my immediate reaction was like, well, I don’t have anyone to watch Lila. And then I was like, did I ask anyone to watch Lila yet? Or did I just immediately decide that nobody could watch Lila? Did I get afraid to voice my needs and ask for help?

Tori (21:58.67)

assume.

Tori (22:05.902)

Exactly. That’s the whole thing is and that goes back to assume assuming they’re going to say no and I I’ve never had anybody say no anytime I ask you know for help with the kids. It’s us just assuming we’re a burden or assuming our kids are going to be annoying or you know and things like that or it and it’s never that way and

Brittni (22:07.575)

Yeah.

Brittni (22:26.839)

Totally

Tori (22:34.094)

our family and people who we would ask to like watch our kids anyway love our children just as much as we do and they want to see them I’m sure so and your parents did great.

Brittni (22:46.295)

They did great. Yeah, and everyone did great, right? But I want to jump to, I know we kind of talked about the romanticizing life, but this girl, you guys, is not just like, she is making these beautiful mock tales. I feel like when I watch your stories, I’m like, my gosh, I want to jump into your life. And now that I’ve seen you in real life, I know that that’s really real. It’s not just a show for Instagram. And so I know,

Obviously your job is like personal branding and all of that, but from just like a mother perspective, which is so beautiful because you have both. Like if a mom is listening right now who is like in her sweats all day and is like, what am I going to romanticize about my life? Like what tips or ideas would you give her?

Tori (23:35.95)

my gosh. This is one of my favorite questions because I’ve been there and my whole personal brand journey started because I did this like journaling prompt and I said, okay, who is this woman who I want to be? Like I’m running this beautiful, successful business. I have a family who I love and I just, but I just don’t feel good. Like I almost felt like

Brittni (23:37.847)

Hehehe

Yeah.

Tori (24:03.47)

this is the thick of it. Like this is, I don’t feel happy. Nothing feels joyful. Nothing feels pretty in my life. And in our heads, we think, well, this is just motherhood. Like I just got to get through it till my kids are teenagers or whatever. And I was like, well, I don’t accept that. I don’t accept that I can’t be, you know, like we see these celebrities who they are not real. Like, let’s just be real about that. They’re not real. But like when you see Kim Kardashian or

Brittni (24:21.303)

Yeah.

Tori (24:33.71)

any you know Beyonce or somebody with a baby on their hip they’re like so put together and it makes you feel like well if they can why can’t I be that way so anyway I wrote out this whole like hire self journaling prompt and I was like who do I want to be and it was a slow morning it was journaling it was reading more than I watched TV

It was actually drinking the amount of water I was supposed to drink in a day. It was going on walks. It was like all these things. And when I looked at my list, I was like, I’m not doing one thing on this thing. Like none of this is happening. And so I just decided I was going to take one little step at a time and try to start embodying this person. And it was like, okay, well, I hate drinking water anyway.

but I love drinking sparkling water. and I just started to think of how can I just make this? It was never for the gram. Like when this all started, it was never, how can I make this this for the gram? It was how can I make this my life just feel better? And it was like putting spend drift in a wine glass and sometimes diet Coke, but it was that one little thing. Like that is literally just a choice. So that is literally choosing.

Brittni (25:22.455)

Yes.

Tori (25:51.502)

a wine glass over my kids like beat up plastic cup out of the Tupperware drawer. Like what I would have done, right? So like one small choice turned into, well now this feels really good to one small choice I can make again today is why don’t we just like candles at dinner? Why don’t we have dinner on the deck instead of inside? Why don’t I decide? I don’t know.

Brittni (25:55.575)

Yeah.

Tori (26:17.326)

two days out of the week, I’m gonna actually get ready and maybe if I have to make Instagram content or something, I’m gonna do it then because I’m gonna feel like I’m put together and I’m gonna feel like I can talk on stories without analyzing how I look over what my value is. But it’s just like starting to make these like little small choices that like snowballed so quickly into habits. And so if you’re in sweats and you’re like,

trudging through life and laundry is hugely piled up. A couple tips I would have to start with is find a few little decisions you can make throughout the day. Maybe just start with one today that like would make your day a little fancier, a little elevated, a little more romanticized. And then one other tip that I like to give my group program girlies is your house does not have to be

perfectly put together for you to feel perfectly put together. So I have my little corners of life. And like I said, I’m in a playground right now, but my desk will always be clean. I will always have my little space, my little corner that feels put together and feels like me to where when I show up to work, I feel like I can do my best work because I am in like my bubble. Same thing for like

Brittni (27:13.827)

I think we like any laundry is

Tori (27:41.422)

If you ever watch my stories, when I take selfies, I have one mirror in my corner of my bedroom and I keep that corner clean because when I put my clothes on and I want to look at what I look like for today and feel good about myself, I don’t want to be analyzing Hazel’s deer and Rowan’s dirty soccer uniform and all this stuff cluttered around this corner. I’m going to keep my little corners happy.

Brittni (27:46.007)

Hehehehe

So I have my little mirror.

Tori (28:10.702)

Those are my few little tips is like make small choices that are going to snowball, but also make your own little like happy corners of your life and let, I mean, your house is not just yours, right? You have this whole family living in it and they should also feel like they have space too. And I have to remember that when I have the forts in the living room and I have all the dresses out over here that this is also their home and I’m

trying to like, breed this sense of like, independence and choices and all these things and all of that that I’m raising is in all of this mess too. And so if that is like a learning thing too, like switching your reframing your brain into like, that is like their childhood. Like I don’t need to stress about that. I can just like have my little happy.

corner moment over here and when I need to like have a clear break from everything, then I can be there and it’s my safe space.

Brittni (29:18.647)

Those are they’re so simple, but they’re so powerful. And just like you said, like taking the one step because I’ve noticed that in my life, right? Like this is a random one, but like I always wanted to be a plant person. But I was like, I can’t be a plant person. And then I’m like, why? Because I grew up in a house that didn’t have plants, right? Like, and now if you look all around me, well, you can’t see, but like I have plants everywhere. Like I always joke, like here I am.

Tori (29:39.95)

You’re a plain person. Yes.

Brittni (29:45.559)

taking on more lives to take care of. So it’s just a simple step or different things like that where it feels like, I can’t do that. And then being like, well, why can’t I? Again, kind of opening those boxes. Yes, I can. I want to drink my Spindrift out of a wine glass. I actually do that. Everything that I drink that’s not water goes in a wine glass. I just love it. It makes me feel fancy.

Tori (30:08.526)

Yeah.

Brittni (30:12.151)

But then they start becoming habits. And that’s where I feel like the key of like having it all comes is because you decide like, yes, this is important to me. Yes, this is important to me. And it just becomes your foundation of your life. And just like the mess, I think the mess fits in there too, because that is like, that has been my biggest lesson in solo motherhood is like, I used to like freak out if the house wasn’t clean. And then like, especially in the early days of like,

because when I was married, he would do the dishes while I was putting her to sleep. Well, now I didn’t have anyone to do the dishes while I was putting her to sleep. So I would leave the dishes till the morning and nobody died, right? Like it was okay. And I think that that’s been such a freeing lesson in motherhood to kind of like, yeah, you know what, it’s a mess, but we’re gonna go outside and play right now. And that’s more of a priority to me than having a clean room. And so you kind of learn just like you said to kind of like…

Tori (30:52.334)

Right.

Brittni (31:10.455)

look past it but then have your like safe corners.

Tori (31:13.998)

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And you could even like romanticize the dish thing. So like, say in the morning, you decide that’s when I’m going to do the dishes, okay, well, can I make this this habit stacking moment maybe, where I have my coffee going or my tea going and I’m going to like do my I’m just speaking from experience what mine is, I’m going to do my face ice roller while my coffee is going. And then

Brittni (31:38.263)

Yeah.

Tori (31:43.918)

pop in some AirPods and listen to an audio book or something, a podcast while you’re doing the dishes. And, you know, if your kids are anything like my kids, then they’re probably watching Bluey in the morning and don’t care anything about what I’m doing anyway. And so it feels like moments where like you have to like maybe kind of analyze what your day is too. So if that’s a moment for me, mornings are really easy to find times for me.

Brittni (31:57.495)

Yeah

Tori (32:12.526)

I can sit and read or sit and journal because I let my kids have screen time in the morning and that’s their screen time moment. And it feels easier in the mornings than like chaotic. And that’s one reason we went to home school too is because it was so much chaos in the morning. It was let’s wake up really early and fight them on eating and fight them on what they’re wearing and all this stuff that was like rushing out the door to where now it’s

Brittni (32:30.999)

Totally.

Tori (32:40.59)

when do you want to wake up and what do you want to do today? What do you want to learn today? And it just, I don’t know, life just feels easier. So, but finding those pockets of time where it feels easy to implement me time. So like in the morning, if she’s watching TV or you’re giving her a morning basket or whatever you do to like ease into waking up, that could be an easy you time moment too.

Brittni (32:50.455)

Totally.

Brittni (33:07.383)

I love that. And I just kind of like light bulb moment. Like I think the biggest takeaway from everything that we’ve talked about is like, you can create the life that you want. Like just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean that your life has stopped and now you’re stuck exactly where you are.

Tori (33:17.39)

Yeah.

Tori (33:23.406)

Yeah, I think one of the biggest questions, no matter how big or small the obstacle is or whatever, it’s like, why can’t I? So like, it was just like the, when you were talking about coming on the retreat and you were like, I don’t have anybody to watch. Well, why can’t, why don’t I, or why can’t I just ask? And so it’s just like.

Brittni (33:34.167)

Totally.

Brittni (33:42.647)

Yeah.

Tori (33:46.926)

I don’t have any me time or I don’t have time for myself. Well, why can’t I or why don’t I? And so is it because I don’t have support or is it because I’m not maybe compromising on I don’t have to sit with my child for 24 hours a day. I can leave them alone for a little bit and go do something for myself in a different room. Madison, a perfect example, they have room time. I forget what she calls it.

Brittni (34:05.015)

Yeah.

Tori (34:14.894)

but it’s like an hour or something and everyone goes to their room and her kids can nap or her kids can play, but she’s like, I’m napping for an hour. I don’t know what they’re doing, but I’m napping. And so it’s just like, you make the rules and you’re allowed to change your mind and you’re allowed to do something different than you were raised or something different than what society tells you you should do. But it’s, yeah, you make the rules and I think…

Brittni (34:23.191)

Hahaha

Tori (34:43.918)

Asking yourself, well, figuring out what those limiting beliefs are by asking, like, why can’t I or why don’t I is going to really, like, break open some new moments for you.

Brittni (34:55.767)

Totally, totally. Well, hopefully this is like a good permission slip to the people who feel like to the mamas who feel like they need that permission to make your own rules and ask yourself, why can’t I? I wish I could have you here to talk all day. I feel like I could just like keep taking wisdom from you. But do you have any like last minute thoughts or any like nuggets that you would like to leave us with?

Tori (35:08.43)

Yeah.

Tori (35:22.574)

yes, I think I talked about a little bit about morning stuff and figuring out the morning routine. I think if you have your morning set right, the rest of your day kind of falls into place and you don’t feel like you’re constantly fighting for five minutes to yourself or that moment where you just want to like finish that juicy book that you can’t wait to get back into. And so I kind of developed

I’m sorry.

Brittni (35:50.103)

Yeah.

Tori (35:52.238)

I say developed. I kind of made for myself. Like I saw all these homeschool moms making this morning basket for their kids. I just touched on that. And I was like, well, that’s cute. I want one of those. And so, so I literally just like dumped all the toys out of one of my kids baskets and put like my journal and my planner and the book I was reading and my headphones all in this basket. And it’s like right by my bed.

Brittni (35:54.487)

Yeah

Brittni (36:06.647)

I want one.

Tori (36:22.446)

And so when I wake up in the morning, it’s almost like we all either have like, if somebody wants to watch TV or if somebody wants to read a book or whatever, we all have our like moments in the morning. And I’m grabbing my like morning basket and it’s like, whatever I feel led to do, if I just want to like sit in bed and finish the chapter I’m reading, or if I feel like, my brain is exploding with ideas, I just need to journal today. I have like my morning basket full of like

choices that aren’t, that are filling for my cup and not instantly waking up and pouring into everyone else. And you know, people talk about that, right? You have to like fill your own before you can fill someone else’s or the oxygen mask moment with putting yours on before you put someone else’s on. So yeah, so I think it’s really fun if you, everybody wants to like do a little homework and like.

Brittni (37:03.447)

Totally.

Tori (37:17.742)

take a basket from some random playroom and put your book or your journal or a face mask or whatever you feel like doing in there and have your little morning moments first, then you’ll feel so much better going into the day.

Brittni (37:35.191)

I love that, yeah, and I love when you share it, like you’re like reading your book, right? And like when you first shared that, I’m like, why have I never thought to like read my book in the morning? Because you’re so right. Like I’m like, I left off on like a really juicy part last night and now I have to wait the whole day until I can know what happened. And it’s like, why can’t I read my book in the morning?

Tori (37:55.47)

Yeah, exactly, exactly. And then it’ll become a habit.

Brittni (37:59.383)

yes. And that’s because I’m a big, I am a big advocate or not advocate, but like I really try to tell moms like the more you can have routine in your day, the easier the day flows. And it doesn’t have to be like this strict routine, right? Like yours is a very ooey gooey morning routine. Like it doesn’t mean that it’s like, it’s like regimented. It’s just nice to have that. Your brain knows what to expect. Everyone in the family knows what to expect.

and then it is a normal part of your everyday life.

Tori (38:29.966)

Mm -hmm, exactly, exactly.

Brittni (38:33.799)

my gosh, so I feel like so much wisdom here. And I realized I was so excited to introduce you and start talking. I never asked you, how are you finding rest in motherhood right now? Even though I feel like this whole episode was kind of talking about finding rest in motherhood, but I will ask you.

Tori (38:44.206)

Tori (38:50.638)

Yeah, well we’ve talked about a lot about the mornings, but I do also find routine in my evenings. And I used to be, I feel like TV for me specifically is very tied to my like emotional state. And I just feel so much better when I’m reading versus watching TV. And so I started like tapping into my evening routine. And so I make my mineral mocktail as we all do.

Brittni (38:54.071)

Yes.

Brittni (39:06.519)

Totally.

Tori (39:18.062)

And so I also drink that out of a wine glass a lot of times and I have my Kindle next to my bed and I try to go to bed like we talk about the co -sleeping thing. I find it the perfect excuse to lay in bed and read when I’m the one that gets to support Hazel to sleep at night at 8 p And so I’m like, well, how convenient that I get to go sit in bed and read at eight o ‘clock.

Brittni (39:34.903)

Totally.

Tori (39:46.062)

and there’s no excuses there, right? And so it feels like more of a luxurious choice to do that versus like a burden as a parent to have to sit there, lay there and support your kid to sleep. So that’s a pro for co -sleeping is that they can just fall asleep in your bed and you can also fall asleep at 8 .30 if you want to. But yeah, so that’s how I’m finding risk.

Brittni (40:09.463)

Yeah.

I love that. Yeah, so you’re making it you time because I think that’s a lot of families, especially in the first year, they’re like, I have to go to bed when my child goes to bed. But you can kind of flip the script and say like, okay, well, maybe you’re laying in bed, but read your book, listen to your podcast, do a meditation, whatever you want to do.

Tori (40:17.173)

Mm -hmm.

Tori (40:31.406)

Yeah, and then you can wake up rested and maybe even earlier and get into your morning routine. It’s all a cycle. It’s all a cycle. We’ve hacked it.

Brittni (40:38.711)

Totally. We’ve figured out the secret to having it all, you guys. But Tori, thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be here. Can you share where we can find you? And I know I do have business owners listening, so if you are in need of branding, website design, Tori is your girl. She is amazing. But Tori, where can we find you?

Tori (41:06.894)

So I’m primarily on Instagram at ToriSprinkle and that is a very hard last name to spell. So I’m sure it will be in the show notes. And then it’s torisprinkle .com will be the website, but I live on Instagram and DMs are my favorite. So happy to connect there.

Brittni (41:16.087)

Yes.

Brittni (41:27.671)

Perfect, thank you so much, Tori.

Tori (41:29.422)

Yes, you’re welcome.