Episode Summary:

I’m recording this episode after a glorious, life-giving weekend away on a business retreat – my first-ever trip without Lilah! I got to connect with amazing women who are also moms and business owners, and the truth is…I wish I didn’t wait so long in my motherhood journey to do something like this. You may feel that you’re not ready to leave your little one at home yet, but doing something for yourself WILL fill your cup so you can pour more into your family. In this solo episode, I’m going to share tips and mindset shifts for traveling both with AND without your little one so you can feel recharged and rested while living through new experiences both as a mom and as your own person!


  • Reflecting on my first-ever weekend away from Lilah and why I wish I’d done this sooner
  • Normalizing asking for help, letting go of guilt, and pouring into your cup to become the mom you want to be
  • Finding the balance between sticking to a familiar routine and embracing new experiences when traveling with your little one
  • Switching time zones, adjusting circadian rhythms, and navigating safe sleeping arrangements when traveling with your baby or toddler


Read a raw, unedited transcript of this episode.

Brittni (00:01.87)
Welcome back to the Resting in Motherhood podcast. I’m so excited to sit down and chat with you today. I am coming to you after a glorious life -giving, just enriching weekend away, my first ever trip without Lila. If you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen it. When this episode launches, it will have been a few weeks ago, but I’m fresh off the trip.

It was a business retreat and it was amazing, but it was honestly so much more than a business retreat. I walked away with friends that I know that I will be friends with for the rest of my life. We are all moms. We are all business owners running our businesses on Instagram. And so it was just, I literally, I wish you could see my skin right now. I have chills. It was just,

amazing to be able to sit down and not just sit down. We did a lot of fun things, but to sit down with women who are exactly where I am. Meaning like running a business, being a mom. Some are ones that I aspire to be in terms of like where they’re at in their businesses, but just to be able to sit down with them and really learn from them, connect with them.

share and be open and raw and vulnerable. I just, I wish I wouldn’t have waited so long in my motherhood journey to do something like that. It was a lot of therapy that I didn’t know that I needed. Our last night at dinner, there were tears all around. We did something so beautiful where we went around and each woman shared what she admired about.

every single woman in the group. So like we would go around for one person, we’d all go around and say something for that one person and then we’d move on to the next person. And it was just so amazing to have each other, like to build each other up and just really support each other and see ourselves through other people’s eyes. And it’s so funny because…

Brittni (02:22.446)
One of the things that became very clear to me is a lot of the things that we were like internally struggling with were the things that the other people found strength in us in. So that’s just a reminder to you that maybe something that you’re struggling with and you’re having a hard time with, somebody is looking at you going through that right now and seeing you with eyes of amazement and awe of like, wow.

She’s amazing, she’s going through that. So I just wanna remind you that there is also strength within our struggles. And that’s not toxic positivity, I know how hard things can be, but just a reminder that you are a lot stronger than you realize. And how I’m finding rest this week is just being off of that trip, right? I mean, it was just…

Truly, and I know I already said this, but it was so life -giving. I feel like it helped me identify so many mental blocks. I’ve been feeling really stagnant and stuck in my life lately, just like with business, with my mindset. And I do a lot of the internal work, right? Like I take those moments of meditation in the morning, I’m praying.

I do my journaling, all of that stuff, and I’ve been like racking my brain trying to find like where are these mental blocks? What’s going on that something is blocking a lot of like growth and moving forward in my life? And this weekend helped me really find them with so much ease because I had outside perspective.

So I’m just feeling really good. I’m excited about the future. I feel like this was a perfect time going into summer. I just feel really good. And so that’s how I’m finding rest in motherhood right now is just kind of reveling in everything that I am taking away from our retreat. I’m still downloading and processing a lot of stuff. I’ve been like a fanatic in my journal, just getting everything out that I experienced and kind of,

Brittni (04:31.278)
aha moments that are still coming to me. So it’s been, that’s how I’ve been finding rest is just really kind of tuning back into what I felt, what I learned while I was away. And one thing I wanted to, this whole episode is going to be, since I did just go on a trip, it’s going to be about like travel and sleep, both traveling with your little one and also leaving your little one for the first time.

whenever that happens for you, but I just figured since I wanted to come on and just share how amazing that weekend was, since I just got back, I was like, this would be a perfect time to talk about travel and sleep, especially because we’re heading into summer. A lot of us are going to be traveling more, even if it’s just to go see friends or family that are close by, or maybe we’re doing big trips. I hope you’re doing a fun big trip sometime soon. But as I’m talking about this, you might be thinking, I’m not ready.

to take a trip away from my baby, which is totally valid. Lila’s four and a half. This is the first time I’ve ever traveled without her. Now, obviously she sleeps with her dad. Now we’re back in that schedule of her staying the night with her dad for around like week, two or three, two or three, I think, three. And before that, like six months ago, we had,

her regular sleepovers with her dad. So it’s not like I’ve never spent a night without her. I have definitely spent a night without her, but it’s been one night, right? So this was my first long trip away from her in four and a half years. Now, what I will say is, if I could go back, if I knew what a game changer going away would be, I would have done it sooner.

And while I’m saying that, I’m also like, I think this weekend was just perfect and that it was exactly what I needed. Like I was connecting with other business owners. I was connecting with other moms. And one thing I forgot to mention when I was talking about how great that weekend was, was we’re all kind of aligned in motherhood, but we all are parenting a little bit differently, right? Like some of us are homeschooling, some of us are not homeschooling.

Brittni (06:53.55)
Some of us, I think I was the one who did it longest, which is not a surprise. Some of us did extended breastfeeding, I think that was me. Others did not, right? Others, I think there were a few in there who did formula, right? So like just a mix. And I think that’s something important to note here is we all connected, we all grew together, we all really formed true friendships and we parent differently.

One of them sleep trained, great for her, right? Like that’s what I also wanna say that I took away from this weekend is like, I know I often talk about like, it’s important for me to find moms who are aligned with me, but I also think that you can make lifelong friends with moms who are parenting completely different than you. The key is that you’re both open to the fact that you’re doing it differently. Now, if you have somebody who’s sleep trained and they’re going to constantly…

be on your back. I was going to say S -H -I -T. I don’t know if we have children listening, so I didn’t say that. If they’re constantly going to be on you about like, you need to be sleep training or you’re creating bad habits, that’s a different scenario. But we can absolutely have wonderful, fulfilling friendships with people who are doing motherhood completely different than us, as long as we both respect that we’re doing it differently and that’s okay. So I just wanted to…

throw that in there. And I have gotten way off track. But what I was saying is, if you are not feeling ready to travel away from your little one, I want you to do it at a time that truly feels right for you. But if you have kind of, because I’ve been having the like, my friend Katie of the not so tired toddler on Instagram, Lila and I went to visit her, but like one of the things that we’ve talked about is doing just like a weekend away, the two of us. And we’ve been talking about it for a while.

And I think, yeah, there’s the excuse of money, which is a valid reason. But for me, I think a lot of it was like this fear of asking for help, right? Because Lila was with her dad, but then I also needed my parents to step up and help with Lila. And so I wanted this for a while, but I was afraid to ask for help. I was afraid to make it happen. I felt guilty. And this retreat was kind of perfect because it was like,

Brittni (09:21.358)
It was like invite only and they were like, please let us know within, I can’t remember if they said the next 24 to 48 hours. If you’re not, that’s okay. Then we’ll send the invitation to the next person in quote unquote line. So there was like a time I was like, my gosh, I have to do this. It was with two women. The women who hosted it are two women that I love and have worked with. And I would love to have them each on the podcast, but.

I was like, this is a hell yes for me. I’m going to make it happen. And I made it happen. I talked to Lila’s dad. He changed his, his work days so that he could be off on the days that I needed him. I talked to my mom. It was fine. Nobody, nobody batted an eye at changing things up to help me. And that was a big realization to me was that like, I’ve been so afraid to ask for help. And yet.

Nobody cared. They were happy to help me. Like her dad sent me the most beautiful text message because originally I was leaving on a Thursday morning or I left on a Thursday morning and he was going to come pick her up Wednesday night after he got off of work. That way, like there was no issues with me getting off to the airport early in the morning.

but she was just kind of showing a lot of, not a lot of, but like sadness, a little bit of anxiety about me leaving. And so I texted him that night or like that day, Wednesday. And I said, I don’t think today, I don’t think it would be great for you to come pick up Lila tonight. I think it’ll be better for her to sleep with me than you can just come early in the morning before I leave for the airport. And he sent me a beautiful text message that was like, okay, I just want you to know, I don’t want you to stress this trip is.

It’s going to be so great for you. I know you need it.” And it was just really beautiful, right? Because I think we can get in our own heads and we can create a no for somebody before we’ve even asked them. So if you’re kind of on the fence, if you’re like, I do want to take the trip, but I’m feeling nervous to A, ask my partner if you’re in a relationship or my co -parent or my family or my trusted friend. Don’t.

Brittni (11:36.558)
give a no that they haven’t given, right? Like if they say no, then okay, but don’t assume it’s a no without asking them. And then again, if you’re like in the spot where you’re like, no, I am not ready for a trip, don’t force it. Do it when you’re ready. But I really don’t want you to hold back on something like this because you’re feeling guilty or you’re feeling like you don’t have the help to do it because you don’t know if you have the help to do it until you ask. Ask your village.

So that’s my little tidbit on traveling, like taking your first trip, whether that be with your partner or whether it be like a true girls weekend. And if you have a friend where you guys could both use it, I’m gonna challenge you to kind of spearhead that and light that fire under your butts and get you both there. Like tell that friend, I know this is scary. I know this feels hard. Hey, have her listen to this episode.

But we need this, our children need this, our families need this, right? One thing that I will share, and I’ve kind of shared about this as we’ve gone on through the podcast, but this has been a really hard season with Lila. It’s also been a really hard season business -wise. And so I’ve found that I’ve been a lot more short -tempered or yeah, like I just didn’t have a lot of patience and just coming back.

After this weekend, I just feel so much more full, energetic, at peace. I have a lot more patience. I missed Laila, which was huge, right? Like to come back and really miss her was really good for me. And my mom even said something like that. Like I had been noticing that like you were not the mom that you normally are.

And I told her, yeah, I was just totally burnt out. I had some things that I needed to like work through mentally. And this weekend gave me the time and space to do that. And now I feel like I can come back recharged. Doesn’t mean there’s not going to be hard, rough moments. There’s always going to be hard, rough moments. No matter how zen, how much inner work you’ve done, there’s always going to be hard moments. But I think it’s how we show up in those moments. So kind of bouncing off of that.

Brittni (14:00.846)
if a trip isn’t something that you are ready for, I do want to encourage you to do something. I’m recording this right before Mother’s Day and I wish I would have aligned it better to fall with Mother’s Day, at least in the US. Because I know Mother’s Day happens on different weekends in different countries. But if a trip is too much for you, I do really want to encourage you to take some time for yourself. Whether that be…

calling a friend and going to get lunch. If you have a partner, asking your partner or telling your partner, I need to do this, what’s a good time and a day for you to take our children or our little one, if you have one or two, or schedule a form of self care for yourself, whether that be getting a facial, whether that be getting a massage, whether that be pedicure, manicure. For me, it’s…

chiropractor and acupuncture. Those are my big self -care things. Do something, and I know I say this a lot, but really do something for yourself this weekend or in the next two weeks, plan something special just for you. And you will see how life -giving it is for you, but also how life -giving it is for your child or children and your partner if you have one, because you’re gonna fill your cup.

and now you’re going to have an abundant cup that you can pour from into your family, into your family’s cups. So I’m challenging you. Go do something for yourself. I’m serious. Whatever it may be, even if it’s starting small and like going on a walk by yourself or like saying, I want to, if you’re a reader like me, I want to go read my book for an hour in peace. Please take the children or our little one and leave the house.

or I’m gonna lock the door. I think it’s best to get them out though, because if they know you’re in the house, they’re gonna keep coming to the door. Or if you wanna go sit at like a cute, trendy, like vibey coffee shop and read your book, go do something for yourself. That was a lot of, like I was kind of bouncing all over the place, but this episode again is about travel. So first I wanna talk about preparing for,

Brittni (16:23.278)
trip that you’re bringing your little one on whether that be you’re going on like My gosh, I just lost the word a road trip or if you’re actually going on an airplane and the first thing I want to remind you of is Travel will be a bigger deal for you Than it is for your for your little one because as long as you’re with them

they’re really, they’re fine, right? Now, obviously being on a plane can feel really stressful. I was actually, when I came back from Florida, there was a baby on the plane right next to me. And I could tell like every time he cried, his dad, and his dad had him for most of the time, which I loved. Mom was there too, but I really liked that dad was kind of spearheading taking care of baby. But.

I could tell every time you started to cry, Dad got really stressed out and I wanted to offer to take him, but I didn’t want to freak him out, right? Like, who are you offering to hold my baby? But we get afraid and I get it, right? Like people complain on planes about babies crying, but we need to understand that babies cry.

And we can’t keep families locked away, afraid to do things because they’re afraid their baby’s going to cry. That’s why so many of us are uncomfortable with emotions, right? We live in a society that’s very uncomfortable about shows of emotion. And so a child crying can be really frustrating to people on an airplane. But I want to remind you that your experience is just as valid as theirs. So remind yourself of that if you’re getting ready to fly and you’re feeling really nervous.

Another tip I have for traveling is try to keep things as similar as you can. So whether that’s like bringing a few things from home or whether it’s like trying to stay in your, a little bit of your routine, obviously I want you to get out. I want you to explore. I want you to enjoy. So things might be totally different.

Brittni (18:29.198)
But if you can keep some things the same, like sleep sacks, maybe you bring a portable white noise machine, if you use white noise, try to keep things as similar as you can while still obviously enjoying your life. That’s going to be really helpful for traveling with a little one. Another really big thing that I want to talk about is switching time zones. So before making any time zone adjustments, you’ll wanna ask yourself how long or think about how long you’re traveling for.

If you’re only going to be away for one week and crossing three or less time zones, so meaning three hours max, you can keep your little one on the same sleep routine or general timing if possible. So for example, like when we went to Puerto Rico last year, Puerto Rico’s Eastern time were mountain times, so it’s two hours ahead of us. So Lila usually goes to bed at like, gosh, back then I think it was closer. She was like asleep probably closer to like.

7 38 now she’s asleep closer to 8 30 but so she was asleep around 7 38 at home which meant that I wasn’t even doing bedtime there until 9 30 10 o ‘clock which actually worked out great for vacation because we were able to like get back late from the beach take our time getting ready for dinner go to dinner and it wasn’t like this big rush so that’s so I would just keep your time.

Think about staying in your time zone so the time that you’re at is going to be different. So like if you’re traveling two hours ahead, then bedtime will be two hours later, right? If you’re traveling two hours behind.

wait, I’m trying to think about this. Yeah, it’ll appear two hours earlier. I have to like think. So for example, if I was traveling from Eastern to Mountain, so Lilo normally went to bed at 7 .30, eight o ‘clock, if I’m traveling back to like Mountain two hours behind, it would actually seem like a 5 .30 bedtime. Now in that instance, based off of sunlight and everything, I might shift things later, just depending on how things are.

Brittni (20:42.894)
but you can kind of think of that and just kind of like stay on your time zone if that makes sense. If time zones are significantly different and you’re going to be there for over a week, you can start shifting bedtime and naps by 15 minutes a day for one to two weeks before traveling. If you’re going to be in a time zone that is ahead of your time zone, you’d start shifting morning wake time, naps and bedtime 15 minutes earlier.

every day or every couple of days. So for example, if your little one normally wakes for the day around 7 a you’d wake them at 6 45 a the first day. The rest of the day would follow suit in terms of moving everything 15 minutes earlier. The next day you’d move closer to a 6 30 a wake up and so on until you are closer to the time zone that you’ll be traveling to. And I say closer because you don’t have to get to the exact time zone.

If you can get within, I would say one to three hours of the time zone that you’re traveling to, this will make it easier to adjust once you are there. If you’re going to a time zone that is behind your time zone, you would shift nap times and bed times 15 minutes later. So for example, if your little one normally has their first nap around 9 .30 a you’d shift their nap to around 9 .45, and then the rest of the day would follow suit and be 15 minutes behind.

The next day you’d move their first nap to 10 a and so on until you are within one to two hours of your destination time zone. One thing I’ll say here is if you follow me on Instagram, if you’ve worked with me, if you’ve chatted with me in DMs, you know that I don’t usually recommend like a strict sleep schedule. So you might be thinking, well, nap time falls at a different time every day. So in that instance, what I would be doing,

is extending wake windows by about 15 minutes every day. Or like if we’re waking them up earlier, that’s a great way to start because now you’re like if they’re normally waking up at seven and you wake them up at 6 45, then you’ve woken them up 15 minutes earlier. So then whatever time that nap is going to be, their wake window will be about 15 minutes earlier, if that makes sense. So just kind of try to gauge it and try to shift either earlier or later depending on.

Brittni (23:05.454)
which way you’re traveling in time zones. If you prefer not to make any changes ahead of time, which is probably what I would do, that’s okay. You can use daylight and nighttime darkness to your advantage. So rather than shifting baby schedule gradually, you’d simply just adjust your little one the first full day in the new location by getting them up at the same wake time in the morning. So for example, if they wake up at 7 a at home,

You’re waking them up at 7 a wherever you are, no matter what time it is at home. And then you’re wanting to, if you want them to sleep in a little bit, that’s totally fine. But the most important part is exposing them to lots of bright and natural sunlight during the day. They may still be tired, but they will soon adjust, especially if you’re utilizing sunlight to your advantage. So lots of bright sunlight in the morning and during the day, and then limiting that artificial light exposure as the sun is setting.

If you are in a time zone that is behind, meaning a really early wake up time, you can keep your baby in dim lighting until about six to 6 .30 AM, or ideally until the sun rises. You’ll then expose them to lots of bright and natural light once the sun is up. From here, you can try to keep them up a bit longer than their normal wake window in order to start shifting their day later. As the day progresses, you’ll want to keep them in that natural light so that their circadian rhythm

can catch up. In terms of jet lag, we all experience jet lag and it takes about one day for your body to adjust for every hour of time difference you experience. It is believed though that babies adjust faster than adults do. So keep in mind that besides dealing with a sleepy baby, you will also feel the jet lag and need to adjust. Jet lag can be worse traveling east.

versus West because you’re losing time. And it can affect feeding time and bodily functions such as your little one’s poopy diapers. So things might get a little bit wonky, but I will not, I cannot stress this enough. Sunlight is your best friend. Like that is how, that’s our circadian, that’s what guides our circadian rhythm. So the more you can use that bright sunlight during the day and then avoid artificial lights, especially screens in the evening.

Brittni (25:31.95)
the easier and quicker it is going to go and lots of fresh air too. Another thing to think about when you are preparing to travel is think about what you’re going to take in terms of how much of their sleep environment can you bring with you without like bringing a whole extra suitcase to do it. So this means that if they’re sleeping in a crib, you could consider bringing their same crib sheets.

You could consider bringing a portable white noise machine, a few toys that they love, their sleep sack, et cetera, to make it closer to your home environment. Remember that babies thrive off of patterns and predictability. All humans do. Our brain loves to know what’s coming next. So the more that you can keep life the same around them or things similar around them, the better.

Again, that doesn’t mean stay in your hotel room because when you’re at home, you normally stay at home. Like go live your life, but try to keep, like I said, some things similar. Something to consider, and I’m back and forth on this, but it might be helpful to bring blackout sheets for the windows. Since we want to use light to our advantage, you can use the blackout sheets to start signaling to your little one that it is time to go to sleep. Like if it’s too light in the room.

But if you use the blackout shades, one thing I would do is as soon as the sun is up, as soon as you guys are awake, opening them to start letting that bright natural lights slip in. One question to ask yourself is where is your little one going to sleep? If your little one currently sleeps in a crib or a bassinet, you can call the hotel if you’re staying at one ahead of time to request a crib for your room.

You’ll wanna make sure that it does meet safety standards, but if you aren’t staying at a hotel or a crib is not an option, you could consider taking like a pack and play or a pack and play equivalent. I know a lot of my clients use the Lotus. I personally never used one because I bedshared, so I didn’t need it. If you do currently bedshare and you’re wondering how to safely bedshare outside of your home,

Brittni (27:51.534)
it’s important to know that you still do want to follow safe bed sharing guidelines. And one thing you could consider is bringing like bed rails or bumpers. So if you’re driving to your hotel, you could throw your bed rails if you have them in the car or bumpers. If you’re flying, there are inflatable bumpers that you can pack in your suitcase so you would just blow them up. I will link like an example of those.

in the show notes so that you can look at it. Bedrails or bumpers can keep babies safe on the high hotel bed. And they’re useful if you place the hotel mattress on the bumpers.

Bed rails are great to keep baby safe on a high hotel bed. And then bumpers are useful if you place the hotel mattress on the floor. Another thing to think about if you’re going to be co -sleeping while traveling is, do you feel safe placing your baby between you and your partner on the bed? If so, you’d want to use separate blankets. So you might bring a blanket from home or request an extra blanket from the hotel.

or if you’re at an Airbnb, I’m sure there will be lots of extra blankets. So you would use your blanket and then your partner would use the hotel blanket or vice versa, but just so that you’re not pulling the comforter up over baby. If you don’t feel safe bed sharing in a hotel, you could bring a travel crib. Also, you could consider having baby sleep their naps there. That way you’re not worried about them rolling off of a hotel bed.

You might even have them sleep their first stretch of the night in a travel crib when sleep pressure is stronger and transferring is easier. If you know your travel plans in advance, you could then practice the crib transfer at home if you’re wanting to do the crib or pack and play. Another thing you could consider is bringing a firm cork yoga mat on your trip in case the hotel mattress is too soft. So what you would do is you would place it underneath the fitted sheet.

Brittni (30:01.006)
where your baby will be sleeping beside you. This is not an ideal situation, but if you do it, make sure you sleep in the cuddle -crow position so that you can easily monitor your baby throughout the night. Another thing that you could do is ask the hotel for a bed board. They often keep bed boards handy for guests that find the mattress too soft. Sometimes they’re called mattress support boards.

They’re slid under the mattress to offer more support. So when you get there, if you find that the mattress is not firm enough for safe bed sharing, you could call the front desk and ask for one. Another thing that you could do is flip the mattress over. A lot of hotels use pillow top mattresses, which are too soft for safe bed sharing. So you could flip the mattress over so that you’ll sleep on the firm side instead of the pillow top. This way you’ll be lying on a sturdy, supportive,

mattress instead of soft memory foam. It will be less comfortable, but it’ll be safer. Lastly, if you don’t feel comfortable using the hotel’s bed, you could choose to bring a travel mattress or use the hotel crib mattress if you’ve asked for a crib. And then you just place it on the floor. You can then lay next to your little one at night when they need you and roll away once they are asleep.

For this option, you’ll wanna make sure that you have baby proofed the room in case baby wakes up at night or starts exploring.

One thing I’ll say there is like, that’s where like a lotus might be nice or a pack and play where I know the lotus I really like because it zips down. So you can literally like zip the side down and then lay next to your little one. If you nurse, you could even like finagle yourself so that you’re laying with them while like you’re nursing while they’re laying in the, in the lotus. That’s a great option. Or I mean, I know my daughter would have never like woken up and crawled around the room while I was asleep. She would have.

Brittni (32:01.774)
cried out for me. So just ultimately it’s about doing what feels best for you guys and just using common sense. So those are my tips. This is going to be a little bit longer of an episode I didn’t mean for it to be. Those are my tips for preparing for a trip away with your little one. I’ll keep this next part short because I know we are busy moms and I feel like after the 30 minute mark we kind of lose our ability to

attention. But preparing for a trip away from your little one. First what I recommend doing is try not to stress out, which I know is really hard. It’s a lot easier for me to tell you to not stress than it is to actually not stress. But it’s really important because the more calm and regulated you feel about it, your baby’s going to pick up on that. Whoever’s watching baby is going to pick up on that, whether it’s your partner or

a co -parent or grandma or grandpa or whoever is watching them. The other thing is just really do some internal work. If you’re feeling guilty, talk yourself through that. Talk to a supportive friend about it. I’m sure everyone in your life will encourage you to go do something for yourself. Shoot me a DM on Instagram if you’re feeling really guilty about it. I also wanna say, and this can feel really frustrating, but…

One thing that I’ve noticed working with a lot of families is babies sometimes sleep through the night when mom’s away, either whether it be with their other parent or whether it be with grandparents, even breastfed babies. Like I’m talking like 15 month old breastfed babies who are still waking every two to four hours at night to breastfeed sleep through the night when mom’s away. I even had a client who’s like eight month old baby slept through the night when she was away.

and breastfed baby fed on the man at night. So keep that in mind. Oftentimes they actually sleep better when we’re away. And that’s usually because they know that we’re not there, right? So they’re kind of like, and it doesn’t mean, especially if they’re like with your partner, it doesn’t mean they don’t love your partner. It’s just like, mom’s not here. My favorite item of comfort is gone. I don’t need to wake up so frequently.

Brittni (34:25.454)
Also keep in mind that that’s one way it could go. It could be really difficult and just accept that. Like this might go to hell. Like this might be an awful night or two nights for them, but they will get through it. And honestly, if I were you, I would tell your partner or whoever is watching your little one, if you’re going away with your partner or whatever the case may be, I would tell them, don’t tell me if you have a bad night. Because especially if you’re gonna be gone more than one night,

and you talk to them after night one and they’re like, it was awful, you’re gonna feel guilty and you’re gonna fixate on that all day. And you might even consider like, I know if it was me, I might consider like changing my flight or if I was like a drive away, I might consider going home a day early. So I would really be mindful and think like, do I actually wanna know? If you know that’s something that will trigger you and send you spiraling, I would tell them, don’t tell me how sleep is going.

Don’t tell me until I get back. And then you can work through it when you get back. But I have had clients, I’ve seen it both ways, where it goes amazing or they come back and they’re like, it was an absolute S -H -I -T show. So I laugh at myself when I spell it out, but I know we’re moms, so I have to do that. Just in case, in case you’re listening in the car. So some of them will say it’s an absolute S -H -I -T show, but they made it through.

That’s the bottom line. Everybody makes it through. It’s not the end of the world, even if it’s a really rough night. And I will remind you, if you’re feeling guilty that it’s a really rough night, you have also been through really rough nights with your little one. It is okay for somebody else to take on that mental load of dealing with a hard night. And if you’re struggling with lessening your mental load, I highly recommend going back a few episodes and listening to my lessening your mental load episode.

Another thing to think about if you are breastfeeding, if you bottle feed, you’ll like, you already kind of have this established of like giving bottles at night so that you don’t have to prepare as much. But if like you breastfeed on demand, especially if your little one is under 12 months, you’ll want to have milk available. And if it’s your partner or again, whoever is taking care of your little one, have them know like, okay.

Brittni (36:47.31)
This is how much I should offer in the bottle. This is how I’m warming it up. If you’re warming bottles up, keep it close. Make sure they know proper milk handling instructions. If they leave milk out all night, it should not be offered to baby in the morning, things like that. Even if you have a little one who’s over 12 months, if they are breastfeeding on demand at night, or if they are nursing at some point at night, I would have milk available just in case.

I often find that for little ones, I would say especially over 15 months, even if they are nursing at night with mom, oftentimes when the bottle is offered or if it’s a cup of milk, a sippy cup of milk, they want nothing to do with it because it’s not mom. So that might happen as well. But I would say for sure under 12 months have that milk readily available.

As in terms of preparing, one thing that can be really helpful is having other sleep associations established and in place so that when somebody else is going to be supporting them to sleep, they already have familiar associations that they can use. So for example, a bottom pad or a back rub. So even if you nurse to sleep for a few weeks before you leave, start adding in a back rub or a bottom pad while you’re nursing to sleep.

Maybe you’re humming a song, whatever the case may be. If you can have a few sleep associations that other caregivers can use, that will be really helpful in terms of them supporting them to sleep. If possible, if you could have, if it’s your partner, if you could start having them be more involved in the bedtime routine, that’s really helpful. If it’s like a parent or family member or friend who’s going to be helping you, maybe even if you have them come over.

during bedtime for a few times before they’re going to be alone with baby, just so that they kind of see how you move through it, but also baby gets used to them being around at nighttime. If you can’t prepare, if you’re listening to this and you’re going on your first trip in a week, that’s okay. You’re going to make it through. Your little one will figure it out. Whoever’s watching over baby will figure it out. They’ll figure it out together. One thing I will say is,

Brittni (39:04.398)
it can be really important to encourage whoever’s going to be with baby to do their own thing. So don’t micromanage. I especially find this with partners. And I think I talked about this in the Lessening the Mental Load episode too, but we often try to tell them exactly how to do it. I would let them decide what’s going to work best for them. So like if you normally sit in the rocking chair and nurse, you might be tempted to be like, okay, we’ll just sit in the rocking chair.

If that doesn’t feel natural to your partner or whoever’s going to be caring for your little one, baby’s going to pick up on that. So I would say like, do what’s going to feel best for you. Maybe it’s doing a sleepy tour around the house where all the lights are off and they’re just kind of gently talking to your little one and walking around the house. Maybe it’s totally throwing the whole bedtime routine out the window because as soon as they’re walking into the bedroom to put PJs on, your little one is freaking out. So maybe they’re doing PJs in the living room.

Maybe they’re just doing like really staying really relaxed. Maybe they’re breaking all the rules and sitting on the couch watching TV while they hold your little one and they fall asleep, right? Like I would say it’s kind of survival of getting through that time period and just making it as easy on everyone for how your little one falls asleep. Last piece here, and I feel like this is like an express edition.

Like there’s so much we could go into here. I could have like a part two of this. But the last thing that I was thinking about as I was writing notes for this episode is if you currently co -sleep and your little one is under 12 months or they’re over 12 months but whoever is going to be with them doesn’t feel comfortable co -sleeping, if you co -sleep, I would recommend like…

having your little one sleep on a crib mattress on the floor or a pack and play mattress on the floor if they’re used to co -sleeping and then whoever is with them could either put a mattress down on the floor next to them or they could put the floor bed mattress, the crib mattress or the pack and play mattress close to their sleep space in a safe environment. That way if baby’s under 12 months, for example, and this is a grandparent or something,

Brittni (41:19.79)
safe bed sharing guidelines do state that it should be separate sleep surfaces. So even if it’s like I said, a crib mattress or a pack and play mattress on the floor where they can still cuddle up next to them and then roll away, that’s something that can be really helpful. If your little one will be with your partner, if your little one’s over four months of age, and I would say I probably would feel more comfortable if they were over,

eight months of age, it’s okay for them to sleep in bed. That’s a blanket statement. If you feel comfortable and they take full responsibility for baby being in bed, they should stay in cuddle curl. Safe bed sharing guidelines do state that after four months, it is safe for a baby to sleep without mom. But that’s like a big asterisk. So I would say do what feels best.

I personally, if my daughter was eight months old and I was going to be going away overnight, I probably would have felt very comfortable with her sleeping with her dad. But if you don’t feel comfortable and that doesn’t feel safe to you, you need to do what’s going to feel safest for you guys. And that might be putting the crib mattress on the floor, putting the bassinet mattress on the floor, putting a pack and play mattress on the floor, whatever that may be. And maybe then your partner sleeping on like a camping mattress right on the floor next to them.

Get creative, but try to make it as easy on everyone as possible. And again, I want you, if you really are going on your first trip away from baby, go enjoy it. Everything is going to be okay. Everything will be handled. And when you get back home, you can get back on track. Thank you for sticking with me a little bit longer today. I always have so much fun chatting with you. Like I said, if you’re…

preparing for travel and you’re feeling nervous, feel free to shoot me a DM. I do work one on one with families who are preparing for travel or preparing for like a night away from baby or two nights or a weekend away. I work with a lot of families who come to me specifically for that. So if you need further assistance, let’s work together. I will link my one on one offerings and the show notes and let’s work together so I can make that less stressful for you.

Brittni (43:43.918)
I’m wishing you a beautiful day.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *