Episode Summary:

Growing up I was called a diva because I needed things to be a certain way. For example, I remember taking out the batteries of all the clocks in our home because I couldn’t stand the endless tick-tock noise. Fast forward into adulthood, when I finally learned that these aren’t just charming traits about me, but I’m actually a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) – an individual who is thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. When I became a mother, all of the things that made me an HSP became magnified, sometimes this was a good thing, but more often than not it made daily life feel so overwhelming. This is why I’m so excited to have Alissa Boyer, a Mentor for HSPs, on the show today. She helps HSPs learn how to unapologetically embrace their sensitivity and use it as a strength in their lives – including in motherhood! If any of this is resonating, this is the episode for you.


  • What a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is and the common things you can look for to determine if you’re an HSP
  • How motherhood exacerbates the traits of an HSP and how Alissa tried to prepare for this in postpartum
  • How being an HSP can make you a better parent because you know how to better tune into your child’s needs
  • Some things you can do in motherhood as an HSP to regulate your nervous system and make life easier
  • Relying on community and allowing motherhood to stretch you outside of your comfort zone
  • Mantras and other things Alissa uses in the hard moments to shift her mindset
  • The most important things to keep in mind if you think your child is an HSP, too


About Alissa:

Alissa Boyer is a Mentor for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) with a passion for helping fellow HSPs learn how to unapologetically embrace their sensitivity and use it as a strength in their lives. She’s the creator of several online programs including The Sensitive & Soulful Vault and Sensitive & Soulful Self-Worth. Alissa also offers business mentorship to HSPs and hosts a podcast called The Sensitive & Soulful Show.

Connect with Alissa:

Read a raw, unedited transcript of this episode.

Brittni (00:03.157)

in Motherhood podcast. This is a conversation that I have so been looking forward to because I think it’s something that’s not often talked about enough in parenthood and life in general. And so what we’re going to be talking about today is highly sensitive people. So I will introduce our guest right away. We have Alyssa who is a mentor to highly sensitive people. And Alyssa if you just want to

Introduce yourself a little bit more. Tell us who you are, what you do.

Alissa Boyer (00:35.118)

course, yeah, thank you for having me. Yeah, so my name is Alyssa Boyer. I’m a mentor for highly sensitive people. And I really got into this work. It’s been five years now. So I got into this work because I’ve always been a very sensitive person. I was always so deeply impacted by the world around me. I always had such big emotions. And I often just felt so different in my experience living life.

And when I was in my early 20s, I discovered this term called highly sensitive person and it was like completely life changing. It felt like it described everything that I had experienced in my life up until that point. And I felt like I wasn’t alone for the first time in my life. And so, you know, through going through my own health issues and dealing with a lot of chronic stress and anxiety, I just felt so much. I found so much peace in.

learning more about myself and learning about being a highly sensitive person and learning how to work with this trait that is just innate within me. And so I started blogging, which eventually turned into mentoring other highly sensitive people like me. And it’s just really blossomed into this work that I get to do today. I’m so passionate about helping other people who are such deep feelers who are so sensitive and in tune. It’s like, it’s so fulfilling for me.

Brittni (01:55.545)

I love that and I love your Instagram page so much. It’s just such a safe space. It’s so calming. So like I said, I was so excited to have you on and apart from your business side, I know you’re a mama. How old is your little one?

Alissa Boyer (02:12.343)

Mm-hmm. My daughter Blaine is almost 21 months.

Brittni (02:15.461)

Okay, so you’re almost to the two year mark. And how are you currently finding rest in motherhood?

Alissa Boyer (02:17.735)


Alissa Boyer (02:23.414)

So for me, it’s just like, lately it’s been carving out moments of…

mindfulness for myself wherever I can get it. So if I’m able to wake up before her, which is hit or miss, often lately I can more often than I used to be able to. So I’ll meditate for like 10 minutes in the morning just to center myself, just to kind of like reconnect to me. That’s like the main way. But another thing that really I find so restful for me actually is creativity. So just like finding ways to like pursue

It’s huge. It just like, even on the days that I’m so tired and feeling exhausted, if I can have a moment to just like create and pour into my own cup, it just, it nourishes me in a way that I really need, sometimes more than like taking a nap or just like relaxing on the couch. I just need to pour into myself. So it’s like, it’s restful in a different way, if that makes sense. Mm hmm.

Brittni (03:19.093)

Totally, totally. I actually really love that because that’s kind of why I ask people, like how are you currently finding rest in motherhood? Because actually, I think it was last week’s episode, I said I’m currently finding rest in motherhood by waking up earlier than my daughter. And I’m like, I know that doesn’t seem like I’m getting more rest, but just like you said, it allows me that quiet time in the morning to like center myself and grow myself before I have to start a day as a highly sensitive person with

Alissa Boyer (03:34.186)


Brittni (03:48.213)

a job in motherhood that is dysregulating in itself. So I will actually just dive right in because we might have some listeners who might be like, ooh, highly sensitive person, what is that? So what is a highly sensitive person?

Alissa Boyer (04:03.502)

So a highly sensitive person is somebody who is more sensitive to their environments, they’re going to be more emotionally sensitive, and I often get people asking like, how do I know if I’m a highly sensitive person? Do I need to go to the doctor? Do I need to be diagnosed? And it’s no, it’s not something that you’re like formally diagnosed with. It’s like it’s a personality trait. So I often will compare it to like being an introvert or an extrovert.

some people are just going to be more highly sensitive and there’s a spectrum of how, how sensitive a person is. So some common things you can kind of look for to determine if you’re highly sensitive, HSP highly sensitive people will be often more sensitive to like lighting to certain fabrics, to smells in the room, like

we’ll be that person that notices the flickering light or the that like annoying sound in the background that other people can tune out. HSPs are just like it’s harder for us to filter it out. We’re just taking in so much more so we’re absorbing and noticing a lot more in our environments than other people and also in our bodies we’re going to be more in tune with just the way that we feel inside so we’re often a lot more

emotionally sensitive, we’re going to be more aware of other people kind of their shifting facial expressions and maybe more in tune with their energy, knowing when something is off with someone even if they say, oh, everything’s fine. HSPs are also very empathetic. So we active, actually have more active mirror neurons in our brains, which are responsible for empathy. So we can just like very easily and naturally put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. So we’re

often very, you know, very much caretakers and that friend that everyone goes to for advice, we just have that about us. Also something that a lot of HSPs struggle with is feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated more easily. And this is really because our nervous systems are more finely tuned. So we’re going to become dysregulated more quickly because we’re just

Alissa Boyer (06:07.422)

more sensitive. And because we’re also taking in so much stimuli and so much information in our environments, it can become easier for us to feel overwhelmed because we’re just, we’re taking in a lot more. We can’t, we don’t filter things out as, as quickly. So that’s a lot. There’s, there’s a free self-test you can take at the website, hsperson.com. If you want to get your sensitivity score and kind of see like, Oh, do, do I

qualify, I guess, as a highly sensitive person. It’s super interesting to learn about.

Brittni (06:40.351)

It’s so interesting and I actually didn’t know anything about highly sensitive people until I had my daughter and I started my sleep certification and I learned about it for children. And then I was like, okay, well, my daughter’s definitely highly sensitive, but this is me. Like I had no idea I was a highly sensitive person until I started learning about it. And I had to chuckle when you were talking because you talked about the sounds that we pick up.

One thing like throughout my childhood is I would go through the house and take out all of the batteries of our clocks and my mom would be like, why are you doing that? And it was because I could hear the tick, tick and it would like drive me crazy. And she always used to think like, you’re so like, why are you doing that? And I’m, you can’t even hear it. And I’m like, no, I really can hear it. So that just made me laugh. But, and I’m sure like if there’s highly sensitive people listening, they’re like some of the things you said, they’re like, oh my.

Alissa Boyer (07:17.247)

Oh yeah.

Alissa Boyer (07:28.73)

I’m sorry.

Brittni (07:35.081)

that was so me. But yeah, and so I think that sometimes we don’t even know that this is us until our nervous system is almost kind of pushed into overdrive, like with motherhood, when now we have like a crying baby, we’re not sleeping as much, and so these things can kind of be exacerbated. So can you talk to your experience, how has being a highly sensitive person impacted your motherhood journey?

Alissa Boyer (07:36.548)


Alissa Boyer (08:03.742)

It’s definitely, yeah, it’s definitely been like a challenge for sure. Like because I, I was already doing this HSP work before I became a mom. I had been at it for like three years. I felt like very grounded in who I was and my ability to like regulate and everything like that. And then I had a child and it threw me for a loop. It was.

I knew it would be hard. I anticipated that, so I had a postpartum doula. I did all the things to really set myself up postpartum. I was super anxious about postpartum. More than birth, I just was like, I have a feeling this is really gonna hit me hard. And it did, as my daughter is crying right now. It’s just like all the things. But no, so really for me, it was just like, wow.

Brittni (08:48.553)



Alissa Boyer (08:56.354)

had to adjust to getting so much less time to myself. That was a really big thing for me because I am more of an introvert. I like to have that like solitude, that time to just like be introspective and then when you have a baby that needs you 24-7 it’s like oh my gosh like everything feels like it’s been ripped away. Um and you know as she’s grown older there’s just been different like

things I’ve had to learn along the way now, as she’s almost two years old, we’re getting more into tantrums and me getting dysregulated in a different way. And so I’m just having to learn so much more about myself and how I can pour into myself in smaller moments now that I don’t have the time that I’m used to having. And of course, the sleep is a whole thing in itself. There was so many extremely hard points.

throughout my daughter’s life that I was not sleeping much and that really impacted me as well. So it’s been a lot, but it’s also like strengthened me in ways I never thought possible. Like things that I used to think would I would cause me to crumble like now I’m like, oh my gosh, I am so much more powerful and capable than I ever realized. And I, you know, I feel like I’m a more in tune mom as well because of my sensitivity. I can really like…

tune into what she needs and, you know, feel like I know what I can give her and that feels good. I’m continuing to like find my confidence in that. But yeah, it’s been it’s been a huge learning and healing experience to say the least.

Brittni (10:34.197)

Totally. And it’s funny, it’s not funny, but I struggled from postpartum anxiety after she was born. And looking back, I’m like, I know part of it was anxiety, but I also think part of it was just being a highly sensitive person. And my nervous system was like, oh my gosh, like what, like, just like you said, the sleep deprivation. And then there’s all of this noise from the outside that we’re doing it wrong. And so I think that there’s this fine line where.

especially as a highly sensitive person, it’s like, okay, yes, I am feeling anxiety, but I also think part of this is just who I am and I need to find the tools to regulate my nervous system. So what are some things that we can do in motherhood as highly sensitive people to keep our nervous system regulated and just to make life easier?

Alissa Boyer (11:23.866)

Mm hmm. Well, yeah, I mean, you touched on something so important that really, really has helped me in my experience, which was like, the noise, like there’s so much noise, like, I mean, opinions and oh, shoulds out there. And when you’re a new mom, too, you’re just like, I don’t even know what I’m doing, like, oh, my gosh, so you’re like absorbing all of this information. And like, I have these like,

perfectionist qualities within me that I’m always working through. And so at first I was like, what, what am I doing wrong? Like, oh my gosh. And I was so hard on myself and it created so much anxiety. But what really helped me feel more regulated and self-assured in my journey was recognizing when I needed to like block, mute, tune out some of that noise and tune into myself because I know best and it’s hard to.

trust that at first because you’re like fumbling and you’re like I’ve never done this before but when I did that and really like paid attention to what was adding anxiety to me which was a lot of just opinions and things and shoulds that helped so much just to eliminate that just to quiet some of that was really huge. um

So that was huge. And then also like leaning on others. So I joined a postpartum mom’s group when my daughter was four months old and it was like the best thing I’ve ever done just to be around other people, other women, other moms who are like in the same season of life. So you don’t feel like you’re so alone. I think that’s something that a lot of HSPs feel is this feeling of loneliness. And I’m the only one who experiences life in this way. I’m the only one struggling. And that was like magnified

became a mom, so I found so much like validation and like support and being around other moms like me and some of them were highly sensitive some not but everyone was like you know in the depths with me which helped a ton and then of course you know asking for help like voicing what I needed to my husband you know I’m

Brittni (13:14.869)


Alissa Boyer (13:25.858)

Grateful I have family around. My parents are 40 minutes away, so they helped a ton. So it’s like really leaning on support and not being afraid to ask was huge. Like I don’t think, I mean, it would have been a lot harder for me if I didn’t have that support and I didn’t speak up for myself. And also just like, yeah, prioritizing.

my basic needs when I could get it going to bed really early, like in the times when my daughter was sleeping super, like, poorly, it was very rough. Like, okay, I’m gonna go to bed early. I’m gonna make sure I’m nourishing my body and giving myself good foods. And I’m, you know, not drinking coffee on an empty stomach. I’m eating foods that balance my blood sugar. Like, I’m always thinking of all of these things because when you’re highly sensitive, like, if anything is off in your body, you’re gonna feel it. So it’s like, if you’re already tired and you’re already like,

Brittni (13:53.438)


Alissa Boyer (14:15.846)

you know, have a child that’s having tantrums, like you need to do whatever you can to kind of like keep yourself at a, you know, a better baseline. So those are kind of the things that I found supportive. And then of course, like finding moments for meditation or EFT tapping, yoga, Pilates, walking, like just movement and mindfulness. Like these are the things like everyone says it, but it’s because it really, really helps. And I notice a difference when I don’t do those things. So

Yeah, all of that has been kind of what’s supported me through this season.

Brittni (14:50.229)

I love though that you put the meditation yoga and all of that at the end, because especially in like, I would say those first nine months, maybe even like first 15 months, like we are just like shells of ourselves, right? Like we’re, especially when we have a baby who’s not sleeping well, they’re waking up constantly, we are like, like I said, a shell. And then as a highly sensitive person,

Alissa Boyer (15:00.686)


Brittni (15:16.281)

It’s funny, because as you were talking about that, I’m noticing I woke up with a headache and I feel like my heart rate is just super fast today, right? We are in tune to everything. So then we have that, we’re tired, then we have a baby. And so kind of just getting back to the basics of, OK, I know that I am a highly sensitive person, but what can I actually do that’s reasonable in my state that I’m in where I’m tired, I am depleted? Ask for help.

Alissa Boyer (15:24.014)


Brittni (15:44.201)

seek friendships that are going to fill you up. What was your other one that I really liked? Oh, just like the basics of like giving yourself nutritious foods. Like those are easy things. Well, I say easy because now I’m out of that stage of motherhood. But those are like basic things that we can do and then add on. Like because once we’re kind of filling our cup with nutrition, we’re asking for the help then…

Alissa Boyer (15:57.848)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Brittni (16:11.953)

it becomes easier to start adding in, like you said, like the meditation, the yoga, the walking. Those are things that we can add on later, but focusing on those basics I think is super helpful when we’re so tired and just stressed out.

Alissa Boyer (16:26.93)

Yes, yes, exactly. And like before I became a mom, I would have thought like, Oh, yeah, I’ll just keep up my meditation and my movement. And it just didn’t work that way. Like you said, I don’t think I really got into any consistent practice with that until Blaine was like 14 months, maybe because it was just like sleep regressions and blah, blah. Like it was always just something. And I was just like, really, you know, trying to figure it out. And so yeah, just having those basic things of like,

Brittni (16:46.801)


Alissa Boyer (16:54.798)

prioritizing how I ate as much as possible and like never, like if my blood sugar drops, like I, my patience is down, like it’s not good. So it’s like those basic things. And, you know, it’s amazing how much it helps to like go on a playdate to the park or something like that. When you’re so tired, you just need to like get out and like connect with people. And it’s funny because again, I’m like more of an introvert, but like.

I don’t know, there’s something about being in community, especially when you’re a mom that is so nourishing, you just need to know you’re not alone. You just need to know, okay, there’s somebody else experiencing this with me. I found just so much regulation and peace through that. Yeah, and also like…

for me, like making mental, like mindset shifts whenever I could was helpful too. Like when I would be up in the middle of the night with Blaine and you know, I didn’t know when it was, when she was ever gonna go back to sleep. It was like, okay, like I would, you know, I’m a very spiritual person. So I’d connect with like, oh, we’re, you know, guided by angels right now. Or I’d think about like things I was inspired about. You know, I was just trying to like make

Brittni (18:04.597)


Alissa Boyer (18:06.882)

the best I could out of this situation and recognize that it wasn’t forever. And that was important for me too.

Brittni (18:14.725)

Those are two, you said two things that I really love. First, the like being an introvert because I would describe myself as like an introverted extrovert. Like in the beginning, I’m gonna be very introverted. Once you’re my friend and I love you, you’re not going to get me to shut up, right? But that’s one piece I really missed in early motherhood was I felt this intense anxiety about like going out and meeting people like that felt overwhelming in itself.

Alissa Boyer (18:23.753)


Brittni (18:41.673)

But just like you said, now that I have these really great mom friends, it’s nourishing is the perfect word for it that you used. It is so nourishing just to like go be. And like if it was a hard night, you don’t feel so alone. And like if your baby’s crying, they can just give you a look like, I know I’m there too, right? Like it’s, so I think that’s a good piece to pick. Like if I could go back, I would have gotten maybe a little bit outside of my comfort zone and made.

connections and friendships, even if it felt scary, because I think the reward would have totally outweighed kind of that initial discomfort.

Alissa Boyer (19:18.918)

Most definitely. Yes, yes. I remember like the first time I went to this like mom walk. It was like a bunch of moms were gathering. I literally didn’t know anybody and I, my daughter had been up for like hours the night before. I just remember it was like really bad and I was telling my husband I’m like I just don’t even want to go and he’s like Alyssa you should really go like just go. So I did and I remember coming home and I was like on top of the world like I just felt so

Brittni (19:32.265)


Alissa Boyer (19:48.798)

it was so good for me. So it’s like definitely getting out of your comfort zone and doing things that you think like, oh, is this gonna be worth it? Like, it probably will be, it probably will be. And I think it stretches you in ways that you need. I think that’s one of the beautiful things about becoming a mom is like it stretches you. If you’re open to it, like there’s a lot of opportunity to grow as a person and become this next.

Brittni (19:59.24)


Alissa Boyer (20:15.034)

version of yourself because you are a new version of yourself when you after you have a child.

Brittni (20:20.777)

Totally, I always say like, we’re born when our child is born. Like we have to learn this whole new person. But one other thing that I wanted to touch on that you said is you said that you do, like you try to find the positive and like we’re guided by angels right now. That is one powerful thing that has really helped me is like mantras. Like I, when my daughter cries still, even though that I know crying is like a healthy release of emotion for her, like I get this.

Alissa Boyer (20:29.43)


Brittni (20:48.781)

anxious feeling inside of me, like my insides are vibrating. And so one of the biggest things that I’ve kind of, that has helped me, especially in those moments, is a mantra I just say, her emergency is not my emergency. I can be calm for her, I’m here for her. And so do you have any like little mantras that you use in the moment, or like any other kind of switches in your brain that kind of help you like reconnect and just like regulate a little bit?

Alissa Boyer (21:16.506)

Yeah, oh my gosh, well first I just like love that one because I’m like, I’m gonna seal that, that’s really good. Um, but for me, okay this might sound silly, but I just like in my head when things are really hard, I’m like, okay, I’m the girl for the job. Like this is happening because it’s meant to. Um, like I’m the person, I’m the mom for her, like I’m the person that she…

Brittni (21:22.702)


Alissa Boyer (21:38.198)

I’m the mom that she’s meant to have. But the other thing that I think about too, and it’s not really a mantra, but it is a mindset. And I think about it constantly is I really view things that are hard as it’s expanding me and it’s giving me the opportunity to like step into the best version of myself. So it’s like, if I want to become a more patient.

grounded person, then I have to have situations that are going to test me in order to become that. And so I think about that all the time when she’s like having a tantrum or throwing her entire dinner on the ground that I made. It’s like, okay, this is expanding me as a person. Like it’s not here to like make my life harder. It’s I’m… I have to have these circumstances in order to become the person I want to be. So that’s kind of like a mindset I use a lot. It’s expanding me and that helps.

Brittni (22:27.322)

That’s really powerful because I am very guilty of getting into the victim mindset or like, oh my gosh, this is so hard, my life is so hard, which I do wanna validate how hard it is, but that mind, I love that, this is expanding me. I’m gonna steal that one from you, so. One question I have for you is, is Blaine a highly sensitive little person?

Alissa Boyer (22:33.506)


Alissa Boyer (22:44.602)


Alissa Boyer (22:52.67)

So, so far she actually doesn’t seem to be, which is interesting. I thought for sure that she would, and we’ll see, but so far I don’t think so, because, for example, we were at a Halloween party and there was balloons blown up and she started popping the balloons. And I jumped and I was like, I hate this. And she was just like, pop, and just kept popping them and didn’t care. My husband is not highly sensitive. I’m like, I literally cannot relate.

Brittni (22:55.695)

Oh wow.

Brittni (23:16.117)


Alissa Boyer (23:21.954)

So she does not seem super highly sensitive at this point, but we’ll see if there’s more of like the emotional sensitivity maybe. She is very passionate, that I will see, and I have also noticed that like when another baby or a toddler is crying, she like gets this like really sad look on her face and it seems to bother her. So I’m noticing those signs, but not much of the like noise and things like that.

Yeah, but like lately I think she’s starting to have maybe nightmares or something’s going on at night because she’ll like wake up abruptly and she’s like, mama! Like seems really scared and stuff like that. Um, but yeah it’s really interesting to witness and there are definitely parts of her that I’m like, I can’t relate. I’m definitely, you’re more like your father. So yeah.

Brittni (24:16.135)

And it is funny, right? Cause they can’t tell us. And sometimes that’s when my daughter, I knew just in that first year of life, because she was like, it was the sounds, it was the textures, it was everything that was too much for her. And then she almost kind of like grew out of that. And it was more like the emotional piece where just the other day I was like, we were like driving and somebody cut me off and I was annoyed and she asked me a question, like, right, does it happen? And so I answered like,

maybe not how I normally would. And she was like, why was your voice like that? Like she picks up on like the littlest, tiniest things or like you said, the babies, like if a baby’s crying in a grocery store, she’ll be like, mommy, we have to go find them. We have to help them. Like she’s very there. But at the same time, like that girl’s like jumping from, and I guess that maybe isn’t a highly sensitive thing, but she’s like jumping from crazy things at the park, like all of that. But.

Alissa Boyer (24:46.158)


Alissa Boyer (24:58.195)


Alissa Boyer (25:09.462)


Brittni (25:10.717)

One question I have, and I know you might not have dealt with this personally, but what are some tips for highly sensitive parents parenting highly sensitive little ones?

Alissa Boyer (25:21.942)

Definitely. I mean, I can say also just from like being a highly sensitive kid myself and like what was supportive for me and like what I see my friends with highly sensitive kids doing as well. So, you know, I think the first thing that comes to mind is like to not compare your kid to other kids. I think that’s no matter what is gonna get us, you know, into a comparison game that doesn’t make us feel good. And so it’s just like, if your child is

more sensitive with their sleep or with their diaper being wet or anything like that. Like it doesn’t mean your kid is broken or anything is wrong with them. They’re just more sensitively wired. And so I think that’s like the hugest thing. Like your friend’s kid is a different kid than yours and that’s perfect and that’s okay. And your child is going to have amazing special gifts because of their sensitivity. So there’s that piece of it. And I also think that like

being a sensitive parent yourself, parenting a sensitive kid is that child is so lucky to have you because you understand what that experience is like. And so while it might, it will be triggering to you at times because it’s probably, you know, their big emotions are going to trigger your big emotions and it can be a lot. It’s just like really maybe having a mantra that you can repeat to yourself where it’s like, this is the child that I was meant to have. Like I…

you know, I’m the perfect parent for them. I can, because I can understand their experience and really like definitely prioritizing, pouring into your own cup, having, you know, kind of the things we were talking about where you’re nourishing yourself in different ways so that you feel as much as possible, you feel grounded. So that when your child is having or baby having their experience, it’s like you can come to them with a more.

at grounded state. And of course, we’re not going to do it perfectly always. So it’s also like having compassion for yourself when you do get dysregulated, when you don’t always react in the way that you want. Like giving yourself a lot of compassion as well. You’re doing your best. You’re doing something that is legitimately very challenging. And like, you know, you can always, tomorrow is a new day. You can always keep trying. And I think too, just like…

Brittni (27:32.309)


Alissa Boyer (27:36.714)

Being like, I think there’s a lot of self trust that we have to cultivate as parents. And so it’s like trusting that you know what’s best for your child. Like I take Blaine to a gym class and there’s some babies that they’ll come in their first day or two. It’s like, it’s very overwhelming for them and they don’t enjoy it. And I think it’s like, you know your kid best. So if you think that it’s better to not, you know, that environment isn’t great for them, then like trust your gut. Or if you feel like, no, I want to stick it out and you know, support them through it.

Brittni (28:01.682)


Alissa Boyer (28:05.622)

But it’s basically like, trust yourself, trust that you know what is best for your child, even if that looks different than the way other people are doing things with their kids.

Brittni (28:15.665)

I love that. And that’s everything I preach with sleep too, but it rolls over into everything. And you said something that really like I loved, which was like when we’re sensitive, we can really like, we know what our child is going through. And I think you say this a lot on your Instagram, but like you talk about how sensitivity is actually a superpower, which I totally agree with. And I think that being a highly sensitive person,

is a superpower in parenthood because if we have a highly sensitive child, we’re going to be able to empathize with them. We know, oh, I am the type of person that change, I have to change my clothes three times a day depending on my mood and how I’m feeling. The people who wear jeans just to relax and I’m like, who are you and how do you do that? I do not know. But anyways, my daughter is the same way. She’ll want to change. This doesn’t feel comfortable. And I think that…

Alissa Boyer (29:07.031)


Brittni (29:14.941)

And I’m not saying other parents who aren’t highly sensitive can’t tune into that, but I think it helps us like, I know that exact feeling, and I know maybe you’re irritable right now, because, and I can’t pinpoint the reason, but maybe there’s something in our environment that’s just making you on edge. So I love that is kind of using our sensitivity to connect to them.

Alissa Boyer (29:37.278)

Yes, I love that. Such a good example. It’s so true. It’s just like validating their experience and letting that be okay instead of being like why are you making this such a big deal or why are you acting this way like getting curious and like empathizing and relating to them like there is so much power in that because I know and myself included a lot of sensitive people who grew up not always getting that Understanding and feeling like what’s wrong with me? Like why am I so bothered by this? Why can everyone else handle way more than

And so it’s just like the power of those simple moments where you can like let it be okay that you’re you know let your child know it’s okay that they’re having their experience like oh my gosh that is like that is powerful that will live within them and help them cultivate more self-trust as well so they can move through life and know that they can you know make adjustments to support themselves and give themselves what they need. I mean it’s huge.

Brittni (30:32.413)

Yes, and I think powerful for us and that we can kind of reparent ourselves or kind of nurture that piece of us. Everyone in my life always called me a diva and because I needed things a particular way, right? And I used to be like, oh yeah, I am. And now that I’m a highly sensitive person, I’m like, I’m not a diva. My nervous system is just different than yours. So when I can lean into that, it’s very…

Alissa Boyer (30:43.566)

Thanks for watching!

Alissa Boyer (30:57.646)


Brittni (30:59.557)

If you can hear my highly sensitive child screaming in the background. It’s just very therapeutic, I think, for us as well.

Alissa Boyer (31:01.794)

I love it.

Alissa Boyer (31:08.954)

Yes, I couldn’t agree more. Yeah, and that’s where it’s like if you’re, if you’re approaching parenthood with that openness as much as possible, you can really see those opportunities to heal parts of yourself. Like it’s like these things are coming up and it’s triggering and it’s and it’s challenging, but it’s bringing to the surface like an opportunity, like you said, to reparent yourself. And it’s, it’s really amazing. Like what, you know, how we can grow from that experience.

Brittni (31:36.441)

It is. Oh my gosh, this has been such a good conversation. I’m so thankful that you came on. Do you have any like parting words, any wisdom that you’d like to leave us with?

Alissa Boyer (31:47.294)

I would just say if you’re listening to this conversation and you’re like, oh my gosh, I think I might be a highly sensitive person, I would just encourage you to explore the topic. There’s so much great research and information out there about it. And if you’ve felt like being sensitive your whole life is a bad thing, I hope that this can help you see like, oh, actually there might be something really good.

about being sensitive and kind of get curious about what some of the strengths it holds because there’s a lot of beautiful traits that come with being highly sensitive.

Brittni (32:18.857)

So true. And where can we find you? How can we learn from you?

Alissa Boyer (32:24.506)

I’m super active on Instagram. My page is at life by Alyssa and I have tons of free resources and a podcast for HSPs over there. So yeah, you can find it all on Instagram.

Brittni (32:36.245)

Perfect, and I will link your Instagram below as well as your podcast and website. But just thank you again so much. This was such a wonderful conversation.

Alissa Boyer (32:44.938)

Thank you for having me, so fun.

Brittni (32:47.022)

Yes. Bye.

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