Episode Summary:

I’m so excited to sit down with my friend and parenting coach Cassie Gudmundson and chat all about navigating toddler tantrums, regulating your nervous system, and setting boundaries that help you become a better mom. When people hear the phrase “gentle parenting,” many assume that it means allowing your kids to walk all over you without enforcing any boundaries or rules. The truth is, being a gentle parent means that you have to find the delicate balance between being empathetic to your toddler’s feelings and staying a strong leader who upholds boundaries. This becomes especially challenging when your toddler has a tantrum or when you’re dealing with other frustrating situations (cue in mom rage). Cassie and I give practical tips on how to handle these situations, build a parenting relationship rooted in love and trust, and, most importantly, embrace the fact that not every detail is going to be perfect!


  • What gentle parenting is and isn’t and how it’s different from permissive parenting
  • The idea that it’s okay for your toddler to be upset or angry, why you shouldn’t feel afraid of their emotions, and how to uphold boundaries while providing love and support
  • Doing the inner work to understand why certain situations are so hard for you to handle as a mom, navigating mom rage, and regulating your nervous system
  • Gentle parenting = real parenting: despite what you may see on Instagram, you won’t always have 20 minutes to hold space when your toddler throws a tantrum + what to do instead
  • Learning to get rid of narratives from your own childhood, approaching parenting with curiosity, and learning alongside your toddler


About Cassie:

Cassie is a mama of 3 under 5yo, and a parent coach, specifically for toddler moms. It was a winding path that ended up here. She previously owned a mindset coaching business — all of her clients were moms too, and she realized they were talking more about motherhood than business! It was obvious that moms were craving a new approach to parenting that allowed them to actually ENJOY these years, instead of just survive through them. With knowledge around Montessori, RIE parenting & in the thick of motherhood herself, she decided to go all in on coaching parenting! A community of 130k+ and nearly 1000 students later, this is definitely the work that was meant to be.

Connect with Cassie:

Read a raw, unedited transcript of this episode.

Brittni (00:01.56)
Welcome back to the Resting in Motherhood podcast. I have an amazing guest here today. I have Cassie Goodman who is a parenting coach. And Cassie, if you would just give us a quick intro into who you are, what you do.

Cassie Gudmundson (00:16.47)
Sure, yeah, I’m so excited to dive in. So I’m Cassie, I’m a parent coach. I primarily work with moms or parents who have kids in that like one to five year range. I have three little kids of my own who are five and under, so I’m very much in that season too. And yeah, I love teaching parents about, you know, like respectful parenting, Montessori, how to really enjoy the toddler years from a lot of different aspects.

Brittni (00:46.344)
love that because I think a lot of us feel it’s really hard to enjoy those toddler years. So I’m excited to chat a little bit more and learn from you, but if you could share with me how are you currently finding rest in motherhood?

Cassie Gudmundson (00:54.306)

Cassie Gudmundson (01:00.618)
Yeah, I love this question. Lately, it has been just a little fun thing of like when my kids are doing well playing on their own, instead of spending those 15 minutes like cleaning the house or doing the dishes, I will sit down and I will read my romance novel. I am such a sucker for like a good love story romance novel. And I feel like if I can get 15 minutes in during the day, it just gives me that mental break.

that makes me so much happier to jump back into mom life.

Brittni (01:32.252)
Oh, I love that we’re like kindred spirits because I am a big romance novel girl. What book are you currently reading if you’re reading anything right now?

Cassie Gudmundson (01:35.476)

Cassie Gudmundson (01:39.182)
Oh my gosh, of course. So right now I’m reading, if you’re not into like motorcycle bikers, you wouldn’t be into this. But there’s an author called Kristin Ashley, and she has a whole series that’s called the Chaos Series. It’s about like a motorcycle club. I feel like they’re just hitting the spot right now.

Brittni (01:45.336)
I’m gonna go.

Brittni (01:54.589)

Brittni (01:57.908)
I’m gonna have to check it out. I kind of currently went from I love romance, but I’m in like Romantic see right now. So like fantasy romance like the court of thorns and roses or fourth wing if you’ve read those So but I love that you said that because one of a really big piece of advice That I have kind of kept with me and this is a little bit different now obviously, I have a toddler who doesn’t nap but

Cassie Gudmundson (02:04.618)

Mm-hmm. Yup.

Brittni (02:22.16)
don’t do something while your little one’s asleep that you could do while they’re awake, right? Like the cleaning piece, the folding laundry piece. I used to try to feel like, oh my gosh, I’m contacting Napping and now I’m never going to have any time to do that. When I could just bring her with me and now like she loves helping me fold the laundry. So that’s a really good nugget to take away from this episode is use those quiet moments to actually fill your cup.

Cassie Gudmundson (02:48.755)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Brittni (02:51.564)
So I want to chat about gentle parenting. When we first chatted, you talked about how gentle parenting often actually isn’t what we think it is. So can you give us an idea of what gentle parenting is and why it might not be what we think it is?

Cassie Gudmundson (03:10.13)
Yeah, it is this phrase that has really gotten so much more popular in the past few years. And a lot more people, I think, especially in like our generation of parents, are doing so much work to parent differently, right? Like we have so many more tools now than our parents or previous generations did, which I love. And there’s so much more emphasis now on like emotional intelligence and respectful parenting.

Through that, there’s kind of come this umbrella term of gentle parenting, which I think a lot of people don’t really understand what it is and or are kind of learning misconceptions about what it’s really supposed to be. And I find that a lot of people, either they hear the word gentle parenting and they’re like, nope, tuning right out of that, right? Like, I don’t wanna be this parent who’s like walked all over by my kids because they don’t really know what it is or they’re kind of taking it too far and it’s turning into permissive parenting,

can be just as tricky and dangerous, you know, as kind of the like really strict parenting that I think a lot of people are trying to get away from.

Brittni (04:16.732)
And can you tell me for someone who is like, what is permissive parenting? What does permissive parenting look like? What is it?

Cassie Gudmundson (04:24.038)
Yeah, so permissive parenting has the really high love and support, right? It’s like all about validating emotions and being there for your kids. But it’s missing this really important piece of holding boundaries and really being like the strong leader of your family and being the person like your toddler does not have a brain that is fully developed to do access logic and reason and critical thinking. So permissive parenting kind of misses this.

puzzle piece that you have to be the one who’s doing that part for them. And so a lot of people who kind of find themselves in permissive parenting, don’t know how to hold boundaries, feel really uncomfortable holding boundaries, you know, get kind of almost like I talk about it, like the parents who are walking around on eggshells because they don’t want to do anything to like set their toddler off. And that isn’t super healthy either.

Brittni (05:18.22)
One thing I’ve noticed in my work with families, because obviously I work with families who have chosen not to sleep train, is this fear of upset and tears. And so that’s something that I really have to work with families on and say, it’s okay for them to be upset. It’s okay for them to cry, but the key is to be there and support those emotions. So kind of talking about what gentle parenting is, what it isn’t, how would it look different, right, to let our child…

Cassie Gudmundson (05:25.611)
Um, yeah.

Brittni (05:47.608)
if we were being like more strict like we were when we, I don’t know how you were raised, but how a lot of us were raised versus like what it would look like in more of like a gentle, respectful parenting home.

Cassie Gudmundson (05:52.619)

Cassie Gudmundson (05:59.558)
Yeah, so, and I see this all the time too with my clients where it’s like they want to teach the emotional intelligence and be so, so attuned to their kids emotions, but they are still in a way scared of the emotions, right? And I think for a lot of us that comes because, you know, even if you had very well intentioned parents, 20, 30 years ago, the parenting style was very much like emotions are shut down. If you’re having a tantrum.

you stop or you’ll be sent to timeout or you’ll have a punishment. If you’re disrespectful or rude, right, that’s not okay. That was us as kids learning like, hey, I can’t really share my emotions, it’s not safe. So now when we have toddlers, it can be hard to get out of that, the subconscious beliefs of like, we don’t want our kids to be sad or upset or whatever, because it feels uncomfortable to us. So what-

You know, I think about this all the time, like, I feel so empathetic towards my kids and their big emotions and I don’t want them to feel sad, but I’m not afraid of their emotions. So like, if my five-year-old is being crazy and is like knocking her brother over because she’s being wild and I have her like sit down on the couch for a few minutes to regulate, I can be empathetic that she’s upset about that. But like, I’m okay to still hold that boundary because her sadness doesn’t.

scare me. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. So then it’s like that emotional piece where you’re empathetic and really loving and understanding about your kids’ emotions, but you’re also still able to like hold that boundary that makes sense.

Brittni (07:40.164)
boundaries, right? I think that’s the biggest thing when a lot of people think about gentle parenting. I was just listening to a podcast episode by somebody who doesn’t have kids. And she was like, parents are today are so soft. And I was like, I wish I could talk to you because I think that that’s what we see on Instagram. They’re like, I know this is hard for you. And the other thing is, is we see these scripts play out on Instagram and then we get into real life and we’re like, this isn’t like not what it’s

This is not how it’s working out for me. So if somebody was kind of is finding themselves or shaking their head like, wow, maybe I am kind of in this permissive parenting style. What are some like actionable steps that they could take to kind of start working towards holding those boundaries, supporting emotions and kind of getting, I don’t want to say getting things in check because I don’t want to imply that things are out of control, but just getting back to a place where

Cassie Gudmundson (08:10.676)

Brittni (08:37.228)
They’re really in the parenting position and they’re holding those loving boundaries.

Cassie Gudmundson (08:41.874)
Yeah, well, I mean, the thing is like, and I do this in my work, I have so many clients that come to me and they’re like, okay, Cassie, I need help with like my toddler’s hitting or they’re throwing tantrums or it’s so child focused. And I’m always like, okay, but you gotta go back to you, right? Like it starts with you as a parent. So if holding boundaries is really hard for you, if you find yourself, and there’s kind of two directions it goes, right? Like I talk about this in my Calm Mom Playbook, which is a resource I made.

with a friend of mine who’s a psychologist. But we talk about like when moms start to get really triggered and activated, they either go kind of the permissive side of like, I’m done. Like, I don’t wanna handle this anymore. You kind of tune off, you don’t hold the boundaries. Like it’s too much work for you. Or they go to the side of like, yelling, snapping, kind of angry, right? So, I mean, either of those sides, like you’re not a bad person. It’s just your nervous system is.

getting too activated and so you have to find a way to get regulated. So then that’s where I would start is asking yourself like, okay, if there’s a certain situation that’s coming up again and again and again, it’s really hard for me to hold a boundary here. Why? Right? What is the story that I’m telling myself in my head? It’s making this so difficult. Was there a similar experience? When I was a child that came up around this, that, you know, felt hard or that was tricky for me to handle like,

when you can kind of understand that within yourself, then it becomes easier to shift those beliefs and shift those narratives in your head, and then it becomes easier to hold the boundary. So I feel like that’s not the easy answer that people want. They’re like, just tell me what to do, right? But you have to do that inner work piece because you have to understand why certain situations feel so hard for you to handle as a mom.

Brittni (10:35.084)
That’s so powerful and yes, so hard, but I think such a game changer. And just for the, to kind of bounce off of the like hitting or biting or something like that, if a child is hitting, and I know you said like first piece is that inner work piece, but for somebody who’s like, I’m in the thick of hitting right now, do you have any like quick tips that somebody can walk away with today?

Cassie Gudmundson (10:38.274)

Cassie Gudmundson (10:48.683)

Cassie Gudmundson (10:55.755)

Cassie Gudmundson (11:03.634)
Yeah, totally. So I talk about hitting all the time on my social media. And I swear I’ve made like hundreds of videos about hitting at this point, but I still get comments about it all the time and questions, which is, makes sense. And I even, when my oldest was like two and a half and we had our second, she went through such a long hitting phase with the baby. Like she went through a rough period where she was just like so, so having a hard time with him. So I get it because that is also.

Brittni (11:06.844)

Cassie Gudmundson (11:33.258)
one of the most triggering things, I think for a lot of parents to deal with. So the number one advice I always give is if you’re dealing with hitting or anything similar to that, stop trying to teach a lesson in the moment because that can be the point where you feel like you’re exhausting yourself, always being like, stop hitting, we don’t hit, don’t hit your brother, that’s not nice. In the moment, I always tell parents, like your only job is to come in and really calmly hold the boundary.

Right? You don’t even need words really. It is just like, Hey, you can’t hit your brother putting your arm in there to block them. Hey, you can’t hit me stepping back a step. Right? And then the piece that I think a lot of people miss is that you have to understand why they’re hitting because that’s how you’re actually going to shift it. So like in the moment, you just calmly stop it. You hold that boundary, you let them have their tantrum or meltdown. And then later,

Right? When they’re calm, when they’re playing, that’s when you can kind of come back to it and address the issue. Because the reality is that hitting can be caused by like 30 different things depending on your toddler. But yeah, I think a lot of parents get like so frustrated by it, because in the moment they’re trying to like get their kid to understand like, hey, this is not okay. But you have to remember from a developmental perspective in the moment when your toddler is hitting like,

their thinking brain is off. It is like fully turned off. You might as well be talking to a brick wall. So save your breath and save your energy from like going around in circles in that moment. Does that make sense?

Brittni (13:10.264)
Totally, yeah. Well, and I think that hitting is so hard, like you said, because I think it’s really triggering for a lot of us. And we have this voice in the back of our head that’s like, I need to be a good parent, so I need to teach a lesson right in this moment. But something that was a huge game changer for me was learning that children don’t have the ability to feel two emotions at once. So when they’re in that rage, anger, that’s all that they’re feeling, so there is no reasoning.

Cassie Gudmundson (13:16.512)

Cassie Gudmundson (13:24.452)

Cassie Gudmundson (13:34.637)

Brittni (13:39.08)
And I like to kind of turn it back around and think about like, if I was really upset right now to the point where I wanted to like hit a pillow or something, if my partner or friend or family member came up to me and were like, calm down, it’s okay. What would I, I would get angrier, right? So that’s really powerful and super helpful. And kind of moving on from that, one of the things that I really liked when I was looking through your website is you talk about

Cassie Gudmundson (13:55.251)

Brittni (14:07.876)
mom rage. So can you, I think that, and we talked about this a little bit before I hit record, but I think that a lot of times this rage can come because we’re not holding those boundaries and we’re kind of like bottling everything up. So can you talk about how kind of actually holding boundaries can help rage and just working through mom rage in general?

Cassie Gudmundson (14:09.296)

Cassie Gudmundson (14:31.41)
Yeah, totally. Yeah, this was something that, you know, when I started this business and started coaching moms and stuff, I was very much focused on like the toddler discipline side and through having so many moms come in and like get those resources and then come to me and be like, I understand logically what’s supposed to happen, but in the moment, I’m still being so reactive. I’m still snapping at my kids. Like, it’s so frustrating.

and having these feelings and like, honestly, I think this is so common and most moms don’t talk about it because there’s a lot of shame and there’s a lot of fear of judgment. And my number one response is always like, this isn’t happening because you’re a bad mom. Like I said before, this is happening because there’s a dysregulation in your nervous system. And the more that you can be aware of that and learn about regulating your emotions, the easier it becomes.

And so part of it, like it goes hand in hand, right? Because it’s easier to set boundaries when you’re in a calm, regulated nervous system. It’s also easier to stay in a calm, regulated nervous system when you can come in and set a boundary before you get to the point of like snapping. So I always talk about the example of like, if you’re across the room and you need your toddler to get their shoes on so you can head out the door and you’re like, okay, buddy, we’re leaving, get your shoes on. And then you keep doing your things and then you’re like, get your shoes on, we’re going.

and they’re like, dawdling around, you know, like they, they could care less about getting their shoes on. And eventually 10 minutes later, you’re like enraged because they haven’t gotten their shoes on. And so you’re like screaming, like, why aren’t you listening? Get your shoes on. If you could have come in, you know, the first time and set a boundary and helped them, then you kind of wouldn’t have gotten to that place where your nervous system is so triggered. You also start to learn like, Hey,

I’m getting a little annoyed that my toddler’s not listening. Like I need to regulate myself before I can come in and set a boundary. So they go hand in hand. And that’s a skill that I honestly think is like one of the most important things you could do as a mom is learning how to really feel and regulate your emotions and really manage those feelings, right? That naturally come up every day, especially when you have little kids.

Brittni (16:52.872)
And it’s so hard, right? Because we’re already dysregulated. A lot of us are tired. So it’s such hard work, but such important work. And talking about emotions, one of the big things I work with clients is like supporting your little one’s emotions. So you talked about earlier, you empathize with them, but you also aren’t going to, they don’t make you uncomfortable. So can we talk about how normal it is for little ones to have these big, huge,

Cassie Gudmundson (16:53.806)
Thank you.

Cassie Gudmundson (17:02.189)

Brittni (17:22.596)
meltdowns and it doesn’t mean that we’re like failing as parents or we are being too soft because I often have families come to me who they’re like okay we are holding boundaries but we’re just still seeing this behavior.

Cassie Gudmundson (17:35.914)
Yeah, totally. I mean, I feel like tantrums are this thing that if you can lean into them instead of kind of deeming them as like bad in your brain, it makes everybody’s life easier, right? Like the same way that as adults, I feel like a lot of us need a good cry every once in a while or we need like a good workout to like get our emotions out. You know, like we have ways of processing that stuff.

that toddlers just don’t have those skills yet. So they are just like pure emotion, like 100% pure unfiltered emotion. And when they feel anything, it comes out full force. And like in my work, I teach parents, there’s so much you can do to prevent a lot of tantrums. And there’s a lot you can do to work with your toddler’s development to kind of, you know, make your day flow more peacefully so that you’re not having tantrums like sunup to sundown.

but they’re still gonna happen because your little one needs an outlet for all of those feelings. And like, I think that’s a huge shift in mindset that makes it easier is seeing it like, okay, my toddler feels safe with me to express these feelings and get them out. And like, I can be there and support them through that. And then once it’s over, they feel so much better.

Brittni (18:55.16)
It’s a huge mindset shift that I think is such a game changer. And you just made me think about my daughter’s four and a half, and I do not know what is going on in her life right now. But we I feel like I have a two-year-old again. Like we’re fighting every no. We’re like, I’m like, wait, have we gone back? And so I’m kind of finding myself back in those early days of like having to really like work through the…

Cassie Gudmundson (19:04.162)
Yeah. Hahaha.


Brittni (19:21.356)
the emotions and the tantrums. But one thing that occurred to me the other day was as we were moving through bedtime, she had gotten upset about something, we had worked through it, but then she just like kept this like whine the whole bedtime. And I could like feel myself like, oh my gosh, I’m gonna scream, I’m gonna yell. And I like had to take a step back and say, Brittany, she just needs to get this out. And yes, the sound is really annoying to you, but is it actually?

Cassie Gudmundson (19:22.916)

Cassie Gudmundson (19:33.674)

Brittni (19:49.656)
harming you or hurting you in the moment? No. And I think that the mindset, if we come back to it, you said it at the beginning of when we started chatting, like this all kind of comes back to us, right? And how am I regulated? What’s the narrative in my head happening right now?

Cassie Gudmundson (20:02.225)

Cassie Gudmundson (20:07.882)
Yeah, yeah. And honestly, sometimes I love that story. And also like, I think so many moms hit that like four to five year and are kind of like baffled. We have the same thing, like our daughter is five and a half now, but I remember hitting like four, four and a half and being like, what is happening? Like, what is going on here? There’s like such a huge brain development leap that happens in that year that I think a lot of parents don’t expect. But anyways, sometimes I get comments.

Brittni (20:16.197)
Oh gosh.

Cassie Gudmundson (20:36.906)
on my social media and it’s people who are like, well, we sent our kids straight to timeout. Now they haven’t had any tantrums in five years and they feel like it’s like a flex. They’re like, there’s this like parenting win. And it always makes me so sad because I’m like, your toddler didn’t learn how to regulate their emotions. They learned how to shut down, right? They learned how to turn off their needs and their feelings so they could stay in connection with you. And like,

Brittni (20:48.716)

Cassie Gudmundson (21:06.806)
That’s another reason why I love talking about tantrums and timeouts and stuff so much on my page because I think for a lot of us, that’s just, that would come natural. That’s what you grew up with. That’s how you would parent. That’s how you would see tantrums. And it makes sense that a lot of people still have that mindset and parent that way if they have no other roadmap of seeing it differently. So I will continue talking about that until the cows come home because I feel like it’s so important.

to have that shift of like, sometimes our kids just need to get their emotions out and that’s good for everybody involved.

Brittni (21:45.44)
Totally. Well, and I think that really, if you think about the timeout, just like I was saying when her whining was really triggering me, when I got down to it, it was like the whining is triggering my nervous system. It’s bringing something up in me. And essentially that’s what a timeout is. It’s like, I can’t deal with your emotions, so go sit away from me. And then I think that that’s why, gosh, this is gonna get like deep, but that’s why we all have so, not all, I can’t generalize, but a lot of us have such.

Cassie Gudmundson (21:59.052)

Cassie Gudmundson (22:03.638)

Brittni (22:15.212)
discomfort in those emotions because we weren’t taught how to regulate our emotions and feel our emotions. And so we’re, we’re kind of learning right alongside our child how to do that.

Cassie Gudmundson (22:26.43)
Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly it. And it’s hard, right? It’s hard. It’s very uncomfortable work, especially at first when you’re kind of realizing like, oh, this is a skill that I’m trying to teach my little two or three year old that I never really learned. And now I’ve got to learn it like while I’m trying to teach them and while I’m in the thick of motherhood. I mean, which is like the whole reason why I even have my business because I wanted it to be.

a place where people could come to have those resources to kind of guide them through that process.

Brittni (23:02.316)
Totally, yeah, and I don’t think we have, I love, I think that, what am I trying to say here? I love that you’re doing it in a way that’s not like the typical Instagram cookie cutter, like, okay, you have to be gentle, but you also have to be real, right? And I think that that’s where we get caught up is like, oh, I have to be gentle all of the time. Well, sometimes being gentle is being firm and saying, hey, we don’t do that, that’s not okay.

Cassie Gudmundson (23:08.142)
I’m gonna go to bed.

Cassie Gudmundson (23:26.189)



Brittni (23:32.02)
So that would actually be a question for you. If somebody feels like there’s all these scripts on Instagram that I feel like I need to be following, can we break that down and say like, no, it’s actually okay to just say like, hey, it’s not okay to hit instead of like, hey, I know you’re upset. We don’t, if you know like the typical Instagram, yeah.

Cassie Gudmundson (23:50.475)

Uh huh. Yeah, I totally I’ve had people be like, well, this all sounds great. But like, I don’t have 20 minutes every time my toddler has a tantrum to like, there would be no time left in the day. And I’m like, that’s fine. You know, sometimes my toddler doesn’t want to put his shoes on. He’s having a full blown meltdown. And I put his shoes on for him. And I pick him up and we head out the door. And while we’re walking, I’m like, I know, you didn’t like that. I hear you. But we’ve got to go. And like, they’ll be fine. Like it’s

It’s this whole idea that like, if the foundation of your relationship with your toddler is built on respect and love and trust, then it’s okay if sometimes it doesn’t need to be like a whole big therapy session with your two-year-old. It’s just gotta be like, here’s what we’re doing and we’re going, right? It’s also okay if sometimes you still lose your cool and snap at your kids. Like you’re not damaging them forever. It’s just like…

I always tell people like, you’re a human, you’re not a robot. So you’re not going to be perfect. That’s fine in any healthy relationship. Like there’s, there’s give and take. We’re just trying to shift like the bulk of the narrative towards being respectful and being empathetic instead of being like strict, mean, aggressive almost.

Brittni (25:08.888)
Totally. And I think giving yourself permission to feel human and know like I am going to yell, right? Like I still yell sometimes. But the key is I’ll tell my daughter, I’m so sorry that I yelled at you. You don’t deserve to be yelled at. And now it’s funny because if I have yelled at her, she’ll stop and be like, I don’t deserve to be yelled at, mom. Okay. But I love that she feels that confidence to say, hey.

Cassie Gudmundson (25:16.918)


Cassie Gudmundson (25:35.413)
I love it.

Brittni (25:38.624)
That’s not okay to yell at me. And we show them, we are human, we’re going to make mistakes, but we can repair and we can take accountability for our actions.

Cassie Gudmundson (25:40.885)

Cassie Gudmundson (25:44.14)

Cassie Gudmundson (25:50.014)
Yeah, exactly, exactly. So good.

Brittni (25:53.452)
Do you have any kind of last minute nuggets that you’d like to share with us or anything that you feel like everyone needs to know in regards to parenting a toddler?

Cassie Gudmundson (26:05.514)
Yeah, I just think, you know, if you can start to see your toddler, I think this is like really at the core of it, right? There can be so many scripts, there can be so many strategies and so many tips and tricks, but I feel like if you can really shift your mindset and understand two things, number one, your toddler doesn’t have, like I talked about before, that part of their brain that is like logical reasoning, critical thinking. If you can just kind of remember that, like in the back of your brain at all times.

My toddler isn’t misbehaving on purpose. They’re not manipulating me. They’re not doing this because they’re like being a little mastermind. They just don’t have that part of their brain yet. And so we can come in and approach situations with curiosity and empathy instead of like judgment and anger. I feel like that makes a huge difference. And then just consistently asking yourself like, is this response how I actually wanna pair it or is this just…

the way that I learned growing up, because I think that awareness is huge. And you’re not always gonna get it perfect, right? Like we talked about, it’s not always gonna be like this magical shift to being like a respectful parent, especially if that’s not what you had growing up. But just being able to start to pause when you have like a natural reaction, like I still have that natural inclination of being like, what are you doing when my kids are like doing things? I’ve just learned to pause and think that thought in my head.

Brittni (27:28.868)

Cassie Gudmundson (27:33.406)
and then say some different words out loud, right? Like in reaction to their toddlerness. So I think just that awareness and starting to build that pause makes a huge difference if you’re starting to go on the journey of like more intentional, conscious, respectful parenting.

Brittni (27:52.604)
I love that. And we also talked about at the, like before we had pressed record that the term gentle feel, like it can be really hard. And so I love that you said like the conscious piece, right? Because I think it’s, we’re being conscious, we’re being respectful. We are being gentle in the fact that like, we’re not spanking or doing timeouts or any of that, but maybe just reframing like, hey, you know what? Gentle parenting doesn’t feel right for me in terms of like how I’m saying it. I’m just being a conscious, respectful parent.

Cassie Gudmundson (28:01.386)


Cassie Gudmundson (28:12.8)

Cassie Gudmundson (28:20.842)
Yeah. Yeah, totally. I mean, by all means, if the word gentle throws you off, like let’s throw it out and use a different word.

Brittni (28:29.384)
Yeah, right. Well, and I’ve seen things that are like, why does it even have to have a name, which is so true, right? Like it should be intuitive, but the thing is, is it’s not intuitive because a lot of us weren’t parented that way. So we’re doing that reprogramming. We’re having to take a second and say, is this a natural reaction or is this something that’s kind of pre-programmed into me or can I take a second and treat them the way that I would wanna be treated in this moment?

Cassie Gudmundson (28:37.42)

Cassie Gudmundson (28:43.266)

Cassie Gudmundson (28:59.434)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And the more you do it, the more natural it becomes, right? It starts to become your second nature to kind of parent and react in that way. Which honestly, I think is gonna be so helpful. I’m not worried about when my kids become teenagers. I’m so excited for that stage because I know I’ve set the foundation at this age of what our relationship is gonna look like and what they can expect from me. And I feel like the older they get,

the better that’s gonna be.

Brittni (29:29.952)
I was actually just having a conversation with somebody about how we’re putting in the hard work now so that we can reap the benefits later and see. So we’re not dealing with like, I mean, I think teenagers will always be teenagers, but hopefully not to the extent that a lot of us were when we were teenagers.

Cassie Gudmundson (29:35.618)

Cassie Gudmundson (29:44.886)

Cassie Gudmundson (29:48.786)
Yeah, exactly.

Brittni (29:52.)
Well, this was such a wonderful conversation. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your knowledge. And if you could just tell us where we can find you and how we can learn from you.

Cassie Gudmundson (30:02.386)
Of course. So, um, you can find me on TikTok or Instagram. It’s just at Cassie mom coach. There’s tons of videos and resources on there. And then I have two guides that people love to dive in one that focuses more on handling toddler tantrums and tricky behaviors. And then the calm mom playbook, which I talked about, which is really like learning how to regulate your emotions and your nervous system as a mom. And I’ve

Honestly, like it blows my mind how many students I’ve had go through both of those, even just in the past six months, but they’re like everything that I talk about jam packed into really quick and simple guides for people to jump in.

Brittni (30:44.542)
Well, I can’t wait for people to go check them out and thank you again for being here.

Cassie Gudmundson (30:49.022)
Yeah, thank you for having me.

Brittni (30:51.02)

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